She found a news channel and leant back, reaching for her unfinished wine. She let the news wash over her, let the fire die down, let her mind go numb.
Chapter Five
XANDER HEADED DOWNthe gravelled driveway of his hotel out onto the road. Fields and woodlands stretched around, bright in midday sunshine. He was heading to the house he’d rented so his son could have the kind of life he deserved, a life way better than he’d had so far, but he was burningly aware that now he was going to have to tread carefully.
I can’t allow my feelings towards Laurel to make me lash out like that again. They don’t matter. Only my son’s feelings matter.
And his son had been terrified by the anger he’d witnessed Xander unleash and the anger Laurel had hurled back at him.
That must never happen again, never!
From now on, his expression was sombre, obdurate—like it or not—and he didn’t. It choked him. He had to set aside what he felt about his son’s mother.
I can do it, because I must.
His mouth twisted. That’s what he’d told himself when he’d married Olympia. Or rather, a variation on it:I can do this because I might as well go along with what everyone expects of me, so I should just get on with it.
Olympia wanted it, her parents wanted it, his father wanted it. All dead keen on it. Thinking it ideal for both of them. Hell, that was four people out of five, so that was a majority vote, wasn’t it? So he’d gone ahead. Married her.
He pulled his thoughts away from the way his marriage had turned out. At least there was one thing to be grateful for, and not just because Olympia had finally cut and run, finding her own alternative happy ever after, but for the timing of it. Freeing him to focus entirely on the son he’d never known he had.
And whatever it takes to ensure his happiness, his security, his well-being, that’s what I’ll do.
He depressed the accelerator, speeding up, eager to see his son. It would mean seeing Laurel again, but she and Dan came as a package. And that was something he just had to deal with.
Without any more destructive, dangerous, damaging-to-Dan anger…
“So, is the plan for the day to go swimming? Are you still okay with it?”
Xander was looking across at Laurel in the kitchen as she fitted a pod into the coffee machine. He’d just arrived, and Laurel had seen Dan leap from the table where he’d been doing his daily reading practice with her, together with some drawing and colouring.
“Yes please!” he said eagerly, but Xander was keeping his eyes on Laurel. Was he actually asking her if she was happy to go along with it?
“Fine by me,” she managed to say, her voice equable. She got Xander’s coffee going.
“I’ve been doing reading, Dad,” Dan announced. “I’m on the next book now. Can I read to you?”
“Sure,” Xander said.
He settled himself down at the table, Dan doing likewise, picking up his reading book.
“He’s doing very well,” Laurel said encouragingly. With her worries about Dan’s London school, she had always done a good amount of home-schooling as well, especially with reading practice. Of course, if Dan did go to this new school Xander was so keen on…
It would mean accepting that the move here is permanent, not just for a holiday.
Could it be? Could she—should she—really make their life here?
She let the question hang. It was far too complicated, too challenging, for her to answer.
As the coffee machine filled Xander’s mug and she took it over to him, her eyes went to him. Against her will she felt her gaze rest on him, taking him in, sitting there, as powerfully physically real as he had once been to her seven years ago.
Having the same effect on her.
She put his coffee down, not interrupting Dan’s careful reading out loud to him, and Xander glanced up at her. For a second, a fraction of a second, their eyes met.
“Thanks,” he said, acknowledging the coffee. His attention went back to Dan.
Laurel moved away, conscious that her heart was beating just that much faster.
