“Well, nothing catastrophic has happened so far. Though the headlines about this are hysterical.”
She narrowed her gaze. “You have internet access and you’ve been keeping it from me.”
“Not consciously. But, I did figure it might only upset you.”
“That’s not for you to decide,” she said, sniffing.
“I would disagree, Emerald. As I have brought you here to protect you. In all the ways that I can.”
“Yes. Well. I do feel quite wrapped in silk.”
“Good. You should.”
She wrinkled her nose. “It’s a bit weird to have you be this nice to me.”
“It’s better than the alternative.”
“I know. I am very sorry that I slapped you.”
“You don’t need to keep bringing that up.”
“No, I just… You’re right. Things don’t have to be like that between us. And I understand.”
“Your parents seemed to have such a nice marriage,” he said.
“Yes. And they were strangers when they met. It’s so funny, because I know that in the modern world that’s a very strange experience. But in the grand context of history, it’s not. It’s the way things used to work. And they made a lot of happiness out of it.”
“My parents didn’t. Or rather they had… Excitement. I fear very much that my mother loved my father more than he loved her. But then, I’m not certain my father loved anything more than he loved himself. No, I know he didn’t. Because in the end, he held on to his position in the crime family for far longer than he should have. He should have gotten out earlier. He should’ve done something to save my mother. To save himself. Something more than running as he did.”
“It probably wouldn’t have changed the outcome.”
“Maybe he would’ve been able to get safer passage if he hadn’t been taking the only vessel available.”
“And maybe my parents could’ve taken a different route. Left five minutes later. Not gone out at all. We can’t know these things. And the truth is, you probably don’t even have a clear view of your parents’ marriage. That is the terrible thing about being young when your parents die.”
He laughed. “My parents were not the king and queen of a country. I guarantee you I have a distressingly clearer review of who they were than you do of your parents. Also remember how old I was when I realized what they did in their room with the door closed for so many hours. They would have meals delivered and not come out. Marathons. I mean, I knew, but I didn’t fully understand.”
“Goodness.”
“And my father was not soft with her. Or kind. It was… barbs. Coldness. It was… Extremely painful to be around, even as a young child who didn’t fully understand.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It was much like his relationship with me. We would go outside and play catch. He could be warm and fun. And then he would bring me into witness the beating of a man who owed them money. And would tell me that I needed to get used to it, because it was the reality of running a business.”
“Oh… Andrei. That is terrible.”
“It was my father. Darkness and light. Good and bad. And God help anyone who loved him. Honestly. I don’t want to be like him. I told myself that I needed to be. To claim you. I… I cannot subject either of us to that. But most of all, I will not subject our child to that.”
“You’re not him.”
“I can never trust that. What I know is that my feelings cannot be trusted, and cannot lead. I need to…”
He looked at her, his gaze locked firmly on hers. He wanted to stay here because he felt like he had all the power here. Because there was no king but him. He was God in these mountains, and he did not have to deal with Lucian or Onyx, or the responsibilities that Emerald had in her real life. But that wasn’t realistic. And it wasn’t the right path.
That was the sort of thing his father would do. Consolidate his power. Protect it above all else. Damn his wife, and damn his child.
Damn them all to the same level of hell that he was destined for.
