She’d vaguely known that at some point in time she would find the guy she wanted to settle down with, but she’d been in no particular hurry to get there.
Maybe, she thought ruefully as she headed back to the lion’s den, there was more of her parents in her than she’d thought.
She’d always considered herself so responsible. She’d stuck to the straight and narrow like glue, unlike her forever wandering parents, who had never really paid attention to how their thirst to roam the world had affected their only child.
Yet when it came to finding a soulmate, it seemed as though she was as meandering as them. The one guy she’d hoped might be the soulmate her heart sought had turned out to be a disaster and so she had hidden away behind a silly secret crush.
How did that begin to make sense? There was a life out there waiting to be lived. She thought of Colin asking her out and wondered now whether she should have taken him up on his offer.
‘Just what the doctor ordered,’ Raffaele said as soon as she returned to his office with the two mugs of coffee.
Erin didn’t say anything but she felt a surge of anger that all this tortured self-analysis had been instigated by her boss and the way he was encroaching on her private terrain.
‘You’re not completely helpless, Raffaele,’ she said a little more acidly than she’d intended. ‘You know how to make a cup of coffee for yourself. You don’t need to wait until I come.’
‘Bravo. I like it!’ Raffaele came over and took a mug from her hands, but didn’t draw away, a wicked glint in his eyes. As always, he towered over her.
‘What? What do you like?’ Up close like this, Erin could see the deep blue of his eyes as he stared at her with satisfaction. She could smell the vaguely woody scent of whatever cologne he was wearing. Her heart picked up speed as she stared, doing her best not to flinch away from the directness of his gaze.
‘I like hearing you really exercise your voice.’
‘I have no idea what you’re talking about.’
‘You’re standing up for yourself!’
‘I didn’t think I was evernotstanding up for myself, Raffaele. I’ve always told you what I thought when I haven’t agreed with something you’ve said…or done.’
‘Ah,’ he returned, ‘but only when it came to work. And naturally, whilst I’ve appreciated everything you’ve had to say, it’s heart-warming to hear you find your voice when you challenge me on a more personal level.’ He nodded to the chair in front of his desk, and Erin obediently sat down.
‘You told me that I wasn’t allowed to have opinions on your private life, Raffaele. Or have you forgotten that you said that?’
‘That’s in a different category,’ he said smoothly. He still hadn’t sat or moved away, so that Erin had to crane her neck to stare up at him. ‘What I’m talking about here is you being authentic when you rebut something you don’t like. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you’re excused from making my coffee. On a practical level, you’re a much better coffee maker than I am.’
He finally moved to sit back down in his swivel chair and Erin felt her breath return and her pulse normalise.
So he welcomedher voice.
Well, she thought, this might actually work for her. If she felt free to answer back to him, then surely it would break the spell he seemed to exert over her? Was he right? Was a more easy-going, well-rounded relationship between them something that was desirable? Had she put Raffaele—or his attractiveness, at least—on some sort of pedestal and fed into that unhealthy addiction by shying away from him? Like some kind of adolescent unrequited crush?
Something easy, something safe she could retreat behind because, after her break-up all those years ago, she was scared of risking her heart with another man? Scared and, unlike so many girls her age, not petrified of entering her thirties without a guy by her side and so in no rush to fix the situation by actually going on dates?
‘So,’ Raffaele continued, looking at her over the rim of his cup as he sipped the freshly brewed coffee. ‘No, no, no…don’t get out the laptop just yet. Didn’t I just tell you that I’m not having a hedge fund moment? And don’t look so alarmed. I haven’t suddenly taken leave of my senses.’
The dark, semi-sexy, lazy charm flowed around her and she was more conscious of it than she usually was because they weren’t relating to one another in the usual way.
She stared at the space just over his shoulder but it was still far too easy to take in the white shirt, cuffs rolled up to the elbows, the strong, bronzed forearms, the dark hair curling around the strap of his dull matte silver watch strap, the sharp contours of his beautiful aristocratic face.
For a second she thought of her own appearance, regular features, her straight chestnut-brown hair, green eyes, slender and neat and serious. If he was an eagle, she was a sparrow.
‘I had no idea there were times when you weren’t thinking about hedge funds or investments or company takeovers or exciting mergers.’ Erin liked the way this sudden openness between them felt because it gave her a chance to be sarcastic, to gently take him down a notch or two.
‘I hope you’re not too disappointed.’
‘I’m surprised,’ she said honestly. ‘You’re such a workaholic.’
‘But I’m not really, am I? You of all people should know that, considering you’ve only recently staged a rebellion at buying goodbye gifts for the women I go out with.’
Erin flushed.
