‘I’ve always been a one-woman man. That won’t change if and when I ever decide to tie the knot. That said, within those parameters, I would need a woman who wasn’t in search of romance, who was practical about what I could bring to the marriage. Stability, monogamy and a great deal of money. In return, I would want a calm home front, someone undemanding, there to raise whatever children we might have. Someone who would accept that I work long hours and wouldn’t nag to do things I probably wouldn’t have time to do.’
‘Things like what?’
‘Time off work for spontaneous picnics in a park somewhere…chocolate and flowers and love notes left under pillows…’
‘That sounds very specific.’
Raffaele hesitated. ‘I took a chance on love once upon a long time ago,’ he said heavily. ‘I was in my early twenties and obviously hadn’t yet bought completely into the mindset I now have. Unfortunately, it didn’t end well.’
‘What happened?’
‘She was very sweet, very wide-eyed and romantic. She was everything I wasn’t and I honestly believed that if anyone could persuade me that love was possible, then it was her. I thought I could give her what she wanted but it turned out that the lessons I’d learned had been too well ingrained to be cast aside. I was building my own empire and time was in scant supply. She wanted more than the guy who worked all hours and I was puzzled by her growing demands for more of…me. When I did make an effort…she complained that I was still too wrapped up in work to give her my full attention. The sweet-natured girl turned into a shrew and I could hardly blame her.’
‘How sad.’
‘Timely,’ Raffaele said flatly. ‘We could have been married…had kids, and then the whole situation would have been a million times more complicated. As things turned out, we ended the relationship and after a few months she actually got back in touch with me to say exactly what I felt at the time we ended things.’
‘Which was?’
‘That it was better the end came sooner rather than later. All’s well that ended well. You’ll be excited to know that she found her dream guy a year after meeting me and is now happily married with two kids. She invited me to the wedding but I thought it tactful not to go.’
Raffaele heard the cool, detached indifference in his voice when he recounted this story. Inside, though, he could feel, once again, the pain of finally accepting that that life would never be his. A life of love, vulnerability, of sharing hopes and dreams with the anchor of a woman he loved by his side.
This, what he had now, his work and his women, was his life and always would be.
And now Erin was a part of that life. He liked that. Liked the thought of them continuing what they had. And he’d figured out a way to make it possible.
Yes, it was just another relationship based on sex, but it was good, and he wasn’t ready for it to be over. He’d shared a lot with her and against all odds, he had more to share. She’d got under his skin in ways he hadn’t predicted and he wanted to keep her there.
His head told himfor the time being.
His heart…? Perhaps the story was a little more nuanced. Did he dare explore those nuances?
Raffaele frowned as blurry, uneasy feelings tried to break through the logic of his thoughts.
He wouldn’t allow that to happen.
‘What a tender moment we’re having.’ He grinned, eyebrows shooting up so that she could clock the jokey sarcasm in his voice that would nullify any seriousness.
Erin looked at him in silence for a few seconds. She felt that the last of the jigsaw puzzle pieces had now been slotted into place.
Raffaele wasn’t just the product of his dysfunctional family. He was also the product of a broken heart, of a relationship that had crashed and burned at that very point when hope in love had still stood a chance.
He was never going to love and as she accepted the finality of that, she realised that somewhere she had still been hoping that her impossible, ridiculous feelings would be returned.
‘Yes, it’s certainly very, very exciting for me to find out that the significant ex in your life is now happily married to someone else. Any more joyous anecdotes up your sleeve?’ Her jokey sarcasm matched his.
Raffaele laughed under his breath. ‘You have no idea how liberating it is being with a woman who has no expectations, who really and truly can live in the moment.’
Erin maintained eye contact and did something she hoped resembled an airy smile.
‘We’ve drifted away from the topic I originally brought up,’ she murmured. ‘It’s about time to start thinking about getting back to London. I really need to go visit my parents, make sure they’re doing all right.’
‘Oh yes. Not to mention those pesky emails you’ve checked that need urgent attention.’ He grinned and smoothed her side with his hand. ‘It’s going to be a bit more difficult to pretend all of this never took place when we return. I thought it would be easy…a brief fling, a need sated…’
There spoke the man with the revolving-door approach to women, Erin thought sourly. However pious he might get on the subject. In Raffaele’s easy-come, easy-go world, there were never any lingering after-effects onceneeds were sated.
‘I’ve been mulling this over and hear me out because it’s something I actually considered a few months ago, and this seems the perfect time to put it into practice especially since…’
