“You’re here,” Ann-Sophie whispered.
Her mother rushed across the room and gathered Ann-Sophie and the baby in a long hug. Then she pulled back a little and gazed at the tiny new family member.
“Hello, beautiful,” she whispered.
“How did you find us?”
“I came with Catarina.” Her mother looked up at her. “I’m so sorry I missed the wedding. Alessandro had arranged everything for me to make it, but the storms grounded all flights and I couldn’t get out.”
Ann-Sophie blinked. “Alessandro did that?”
“He wanted to surprise you. So he made arrangements.” Her mother gave her a searching look. “Why did you tell me it wasn’t important?”
There was a hint of hurt in her mother’s voice, and it twisted something inside her. “I didn’t want to bother you. You were on this assignment and I wanted to ask you to come for the birth. I didn’t want to ask for too much.”
“Älskling, you have never asked for too much.” Her mother’s fingers brushed her cheek. “What’s the baby’s name?”
“He doesn’t have one yet.” It felt wrong to name him without Alessandro, but maybe she would have to.
“May I hold him?”
Her mother lifted the baby into her arms, and as they sat there together, the two of them in awe of this tiny new life, Ann-Sophie’s heart felt a new and different kind of full, despite the sadness. Maybe, in the future, when some of this pain had eased, she could even be happy—as long as she didn’t think about what she was missing. It was like her childhood, she thought with a moment of strange familiarity. As long as she hadn’t focused on the loss of her father, she had been fine. And it would be the same for her and her own baby. Even though the pain of Alessandro’s decision seemed unbearable right now.
“Where is Alessandro?” Her mother looked around, frowned a little. “I was under the impression that he would be here.”
Ann-Sophie shook her head. “He left.”
She only said those two simple words, and yet, her mother seemed to hear everything in them.
“He left you two? The day after your wedding, immediately after the birth of your child?”
“To be fair, he said that he would wait until I was strong enough. I had made him promise that he wouldn’t abandon us like…”
Ann-Sophie’s mother face was solemn. “Like your father.”
Ann-Sophie nodded. “But I realized that I didn’t want him to stick around simply because he had to. I can make it on my own. And I will. It just…hurts right now.”
“Oh,älskling…” Her mother’s arms came around her so that she was holding Ann-Sophie and the baby, and finally, Ann-Sophie let herself cry. Her tears were wiped and her head was kissed until the sadness dulled a little. When she looked up, her mother’s eyes were filled with worry. But she had made it through this same situation, Ann-Sophie reminded herself. And so would she.
“Remember a long time ago, when you told me to learn the difference between need and want? I don’t need him. I can do this on my own.”
Ann-Sophie’s mother frowned. “I’m glad that you know you can do this on your own, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t want. And there’s a big difference between wanting something that is impossible and wanting something that is hard and complicated.”
Ann-Sophie took a deep breath as her mother’s words settled inside. This was at the center of the problem. She wanted something she believed in, something he said was impossible. And she didn’t know how to convince him otherwise.
“Did he say why he was leaving?” her mother asked quietly.
“His parents are truly awful, and when they came this morning, he was angry and lashed out at them and then at me when I tried to comfort him. He feels out of control, and he…” Didn’t know what to do? Didn’t care enough to try? She had run through these possibilities and a dozen others. The tears began again, and she grabbed a tissue to wipe them away. “Are you ever sad that you let my father go?”
Her mother blinked, as if this was the last question she had expected. “Not at all.”
“But…” Ann-Sophie sniffed. “But you gave up love for me.”
Her mother’s face seemed to crumple. “How could you think that?”
Ann-Sophie her head slowly. “You gave up love—”
“I chose love,” said her mother said, cutting her off insistently. “Youare the love of my life. And never for one moment have I thought I made a mistake or wondered if I should have chosen differently.”
