‘But the thought of you losing your way again, of you ending up with someone like James, someone worse, it would kill me, Genevieve. No matter where you are, you are a part of me. I have to know you’re okay.’
‘I’ll be okay,’ she lied, because in that moment she felt as though she never would be again.
‘Let me take care of you,’ he said, and something tightened inside her, like screws against her ribs.
‘Take care of me how?’ To her own ears, the coldness was obvious in her tone, but he clearly didn’t hear it—or heed it.
‘Let me set you up in your own place, take away any financial worries. Let me care for you. And occasionally, God, Genevieve, God help me for my weakness, let me see you and remember that when I’m with you, I genuinely feel as though I am what you say. Let me see myself as you do, from time to time.’
‘From time to time,’ she murmured, imagining the world he described with a sense of overwhelming barrenness. The idea of living in that awful state of purgatory, just as he was on the island, one foot between both their worlds.
‘I cannot give you what you want, but I can give you so much, if you’ll let me.’
She took a step backwards, to put space between them, but he followed, and closed the door behind them, so she startled at the sound of it slamming.
‘Please,’ he said, and she knew it wasn’t a word he used often. It dug right into her heart. She blinked away, turning to look at the view, towards the island, imagining the future she really wanted. Side by side with him, no matter where, no matter how they lived.
‘I can’t accept that,’ she said, swallowing past a lump in her throat. ‘It’s not enough.’
‘It’s more than you have now.’
She turned back to him, her lips quivering in an attempt at a weak smile. ‘Is it? I have my independence, Nikos, and I fought so hard for it. I wouldneversacrifice that again, except for the deepest kind of mutual love. How have you so fundamentally misunderstood me?’
‘Genevieve—’
‘No.’ She shook her head, holding up a hand. ‘There are only two things I want in this world, and I had my whole marriage to recognise that. I deserve to be loved. Wholly, fully, without restraint. Messy, consuming, warts-and-all love.’ She tilted her chin, daring him with her defiant expression to contradict her. ‘And I deserve to be with someone who knows that I have what it takes to stand on my own two feet.’ The last one really hurt. ‘With James, I gave up my independence because he said he wanted to look after me, and I ended up with no agency, and no options. If you think I would ever make that mistake again, even with someone I love as much as I do you, then you really don’t get what I’ve been through.’
He stared at her with obvious frustration and torment. ‘Genevieve,agape…’
‘Don’t. Don’t stand there and even suggest that you love me,’ she begged. ‘I thought you did. I really did. But love isn’t this. Love isn’t measured and it’s not conditional, it’s not something you can box away. It’s not giving someone financial comfort but never giving them yourself.’ He flinched, and she knew why, because she trulyunderstoodhim. Perhaps Isabella had said something similar in one of their arguments? Frustration sliced through her. ‘If that’s all you came to say, you should go. It’s just making an impossible situation even worse, to see you again.’
‘You know why I can’t offer more.’
‘Because you were married, and it was unhappy.’
‘Because I made her miserable,’ he growled.
‘Yes.’ She nodded once. ‘I know that’s what you think. But she stayed with you. She loved you. That washerchoice—at least you let her make it. You’re taking mine away from me.’
‘I am making the right choice for both of us.’
‘How can you possibly say that?’ she shouted. ‘How does any part of this feel right?’
‘It’s how it has to be.’
And it was so obvious from the finality in his tone that he would not change his mind, no matter what she said, that a single tear rolled down her cheek, splashing on her arm.
He dragged her towards him, pulling her close, his hands on her back, as though he was trying to speak with his body, to make her understand something he didn’t know how to say. She sobbed, though, and it seemed to pull him out of whatever he was thinking. He stepped backwards, staring at her with an expression that was so much more familiar. The mountain man, rugged, determined and completely in control.
‘Would you at least keep this?’ he asked, reaching into his pocket and removing the engagement ring. She wrapped her arms around her torso, staring at the stunning teardrop diamond.
‘I bought it for you. Your eyes, and the rain that fell the day we met. I saw it and immediately knew it had to be yours. Please keep it—unless you ever need to sell it, then do, of course. Let me at least have that small peace of mind, of knowing that, in some way, I have given you something of value.’
She put her hand out and took the ring; he left before she could tell him he’d given her so much more of value than a diamond. He’d given her the determination and sense of self-worth that had enabled her to reject him, the certainty that she could do more and be more than she’d ever really thought.Thatwas what he’d given her, andthatwas what she’d carry, close to her heart.
Nonetheless, as he closed the door behind himself and left her for the last time, she slipped the ring on and stared at it, thinking that it wasn’t just like raindrops, but also tears, and that seemed somehow very fitting for how things had ended between them.
One of the first things she discovered, upon returning to Washington, was that Nikos had paid off the hospital debt in its entirety. It was the exact opposite of what she’d asked. He’d ignored her, but she knew why.
