He’d never forgive himself for leaving her that day.
They’d lost their child. A child he’d have cherished as his father had never cherished him. ‘But I don’t feel married. I—’
He didn’t want to hear it. Not now. ‘This isn’t just about you, Greer. There’s anus,remember?’ Her eyes rounded as if stunned but this had to be said. ‘The only reason we didn’t live together for the last few weeks was so you could gradually take up the threads of your life. Without facing the trauma of what happened straightaway.’
Now Conall wondered if that had been a mistake.
She blinked, her lip wobbling for a second before she got it under control. Conall ached for her. He wanted to fold her in his arms and not let her go but this was non-negotiable.
‘I need space. Time alone.’
She voiced his greatest fear.
Even rumpled and with a crease down one lean cheek where he’d slept with his head against the back of the chair, Conall looked so good she had to work to still the quiver of need deep inside.
Greer wanted so badly to be in his embrace. Part of her craved a return to the morning before when she’d found magic in his embrace and his body melding with hers. But the devastating reality she’d woken to this morning, the memory of her miscarriage, meant that what she wanted most was the simple comfort of his company.
That was what scared her most. Because what future was there for them?
With the loss of their child, what was at the heart of their marriage? For her part, love. But she’d seen Conall’s reaction to her pregnancy and understood that being a father wasn’t a goal for him. It was an obligation he’d accepted because he believed he had to, despite the fact she didn’t fit the mould of a billionaire’s wife. They came from different worlds that rarely intersected.
Just as she knew his concern for her was based on doing the decent thing. Love hadn’t been mentioned when he’d proposed. He’d looked stern, not excited at the prospect of marriage and a child. At least he hadn’t insulted her by pretending to feel more than he did. If he’d loved her might he have stayed that fateful day when asked?
But having been pregnant, having begun to imagine a future with her own family, hers and Conall’s, Greer realised that was what she wanted for herself. Not just the career she’d focused on for so long, but children. Family. A real home. Somewhere to settle and put down roots. Build relationships. To surround herself with love.
‘There’s space for you here.’ His rough voice interrupted her thoughts. ‘I won’t crowd you, Greer, but I don’t want you to be alone.’
‘I’m perfectly capable—’
‘That’s not in question. You’re the most capable person I know. But sometimes being alone with only your own thoughts and no circuit breaker isn’t the best option. You were by yourself in the mountains, but I don’t think the solitude helped. Did it?’
She frowned. Much of her time in the cottage had been a blur of pain. She’d gone over and over what she might have done to precipitate the miscarriage or prevent it. Even told herself it wouldn’t have happened if Conall had stayed with her.
Shehadn’tfelt better when she returned to Sydney and work. She’d just known that she had to make a change, move forward and try to concentrate on things other than her grief.
‘Only a little,’ she admitted.
Her breath caught as memory lodged, of her first night in the cottage. How she’d craved Conall’s arms around her, the simple, human connection. How much it would have meant to have his deep voice whispering reassurance, his strength supporting her. Instead he’d been half a world away and she’d felt cut off from everyone and everything.
‘I thought as much.’ His deep voice rumbled through her. ‘Those weeks alone were the bleakest of my life.’
Her gaze caught his, widening in shock as she read the truth in his eyes. It was hard to believe his connection to the baby was so strong. No, he’d been worried abouther.
‘I don’t want you to be alone anymore, Greer.Idon’t want to be alone.’ His crooked smile that tugged something in her chest. ‘It’s a big house. You can have this suite to yourself if you really want.’
His gaze bored into hers as if compelling her to admit she’d rather share with him. When she said nothing his smile disintegrated. ‘I’ll move into another suite. I’ll be nearby when you need me and when you’re ready, we’ll talk.’
She swallowed, her throat dry. The last thing she wanted was to talk about the miscarriage. What shewantedwas to throw herself into his arms and pretend nothing bad had happened. To luxuriate in the comfort of his embrace while she grappled with grief and her jumbled emotions.
‘I…’ Greer bit her lip, fighting opposing impulses.
But she knew from the set of Conall’s jaw that he wouldn’t give up.
She remembered him fussing over her when she came out of hospital with amnesia. And before that, after she found she was pregnant, not letting her carry anything or get too tired.
The man was a born protector.
She grimaced, her eyes squeezing tight shut. He’d have made a wonderful father.
