It wasn’t panic, exactly. No dizziness, no drama. Just a firm, immovable certainty settling in her bones:If I get on that plane, something in me is going to break.
She stepped away from the gate, phone already in her hand.
Veronica answered on the second ring. “You’re early.”
“I’m not coming,” Sloane said. “At least not now.”
There was a pause. “Okay,” she said calmly. “Tell me why.”
Sloane closed her eyes. The truth pressed hard against her midsection. “I can do the academy job,” she said. “I can do the clients. I can do risk on paper and data and simulations.” Her voice caught, just slightly. “I can’t dothis. Not yet.”
Another beat. “This being Reese driving in Formula 1?
“Yes.”
Veronica exhaled slowly. “You don’t usually bail.”
“I know.” Sloane swallowed. “I don’t want to punish her for something she’s earned. And I don’t want to punish myself by pretending I’m ready when I’m not. I’m not ready, Veronica.”
Silence stretched.
“Can you throw a tennis ball around and get yourself to a better spot? This is your happiness we’re talking about. I’ll hold your hand, Sloane. We can get through this weekend, and the rest will get easier with time and practice. You’ve been so happy.”
“I can’t do it this time, Ronnie.”
“All right,” Veronica said at last. “I’ll cover. Take the time you need. But Sloane—” She softened, just a fraction. “Don’t disappear. From her, or from yourself.”
Sloane opened her eyes, watching the final boarding call light up the screen. “I won’t,” she said. She hoped it was true. She had work to do on herself before she could properly show up for anyone else, and that included Reese.
She hung up as the line moved forward without her, the plane filling, the world continuing on schedule. She hoped therewas a scenario in which Reese would understand, would forgive her. Their future had a question mark attached to it, and it was up to Sloane to fight like hell to erase it. She wanted Reese, but had to acknowledge that she just might lose her in the process of working on herself.
Sloane turned away from the gate, heart heavy but choosing, for once, not the fastest path forward, but the one she could actually walk.
CHAPTER 29
EATING AN ELEPHANT
Reese was already making a list of all the things she wanted to see, do, visit, and experience with Sloane while they were in Budapest. A walk along the Danube, hopefully in the evening when the city would be lit up. Maybe visit a little ruin bar tucked into a courtyard. Coffee on a terrace where no one cared who she was, just that the espresso was strong and the pastries were perfect. Oh, and she wanted to show Sloane the circuit from the outside, the way the hills cradled it. There wouldn’t be enough time for all of it. There never was. But they’d get to what they could.
Reese had arrived a couple of days earlier to shoot promos and photos in preparation for her official debut with Laurens. The PR people wanted to make sure they had everything they needed to give her a proper launch. Seeing her image stretched into a massive banner above the garage was a moment she’d never forget. The scale of it. The finality. The way it felt like the world was suddenly speaking her name at full volume. Did she Instagram the hell out of a photo of her standing in front of the banner in her race suit? Absolutely. She’d sent it straight to Sloane, captioned with something breezy and untrue about how totally chill she felt.
But today was different. Today, Sloane was arriving, and it had Reese on a complete high.
She had dashed back to the hotel to change, nerves buzzing under her skin in a way that had nothing to do with racing. She checked her phone for the hundredth time. Still nothing. Sloane hadn’t responded since boarding her first flight, but the connection was tight, and Reese figured she’d stayed in airplane mode, chasing sleep where she could. It made sense. It was fine. If everything was on time, she’d have landed an hour ago, probably already in a cab, probably rolling her eyes at Reese’scome straight uptext and smiling anyway.
She paced the room, tugged on a clean shirt, then abandoned it for another. Sent one more message.
I’m here in the room. Can’t wait. I want to kiss you already.
No reply.
When the knock finally came fifteen minutes later, it hit her like a jolt of happy electricity.
Reese didn’t bother checking the peephole. She crossed the room in three long strides, heart already racing, joy rushing up so fast it almost hurt. She was halfway through imagining the weight of Sloane’s arms around her, the familiar kiss that always made the world click back into place when she opened the door.
It was Veronica.
The smile froze on Reese’s face, confusion flashing so fast it barely registered before something colder slid in beneath it. “Hey,” she said, already knowing something was wrong. “I thought you were …”
