Sexy as hell.
It’s strange allowing myself to think of Lyra as sexy. I would always censor my internal comments when I thought of her.
And yes—I often thought of her.
A burst of laughter pulls me back into my misery. “Is it going to be like that all night?” I scrub at my face. I need to get myself out of this funk. I shouldn’t have expected Lyra to greet me with open arms because I’ve never given her a reason to think I wanted to be greeted like that.
Or that I would ever show up here at the very moment she’s returned from a date with seven men.
Who would ever expect that?
“What happens now?” I ask Lucas, who is looking at me too closely. It’s like he’s storing all the information on me and the show away to let loose when he gets back to Battle Harbour.
I considered how I would appear on television if I joined the show, but I didn’t give much thought about what the people of Battle Harbour will think of me.
What will they think of me if I don’t end up with Lyra?
“On their date,” I add. Is it better to think about what Lyra is doing at this moment or about the embarrassment of returning home with my tail tucked between my legs?
It’s really a toss-up.
“They… talk?” Lucas guesses. “This is the first one. The guys get a chance to spend time with Lyra. Have you not seen the show?”
“I saw it when Odin was doing it, but that’s it.”
“They kiss. Sometimes.”
“They’re kissing Lyra tonight?” The thought of that makes my blood boil. I know Lyra has kissed men. I’ve kissed women. I was just with Abigail but still, now that I’m here, the thought of any of those men I saw with Lyra earlier touching her… kissing her—
No. It’s wrong.
Any man doing that is wrong because Lyra is mine.
She’s not mine. She can do whatever she likes, with whomever she likes, and that realization just… sucks.
I’m not usually unreasonable but it’s as if stepping out of Bo’s plane in Saint Pierre has turned me into a different person.
A person who gave up a good relationship with an amazing woman for a chance with Lyra.
I’ve become someone who is going to have to dig deep to find out if the feelings I have for a princess are real or just a fantasy.
A person who has willingly volunteered to be on a reality show.
Who is this person? Because these are not things that I do. I end relationships because we have nothing in common, ending things before they get too serious to save the pain.
I go above and beyond in my work, but never discussing my emotions. Not even acknowledging them.
And I don’t even watch reality television.
I lurch to my feet because if I sit here any longer, my head might well explode. “I’m going to look around,” I tell Lucas.
“They said we’re not supposed to go near the lobby,” he calls after me. I give a wave that I heard him.
But that’s exactly where I go.
It’s like I have a homing beacon attached, bringing me straight back to Lyra. I find the corridor that leads to the lobby and stay close to the wall as I check it out.
There is a small group of men sitting on the double couches by the fireplace, all with drinks in their hands and laughing.
