Ashton Carrington is the last one to greet me this morning when I pick up the group, his smirk widening when I pull him aside.
“Do you really want to be here?” I demand without any preamble. “Because this doesn’t seem like your thing.”
The smirk vanishes. “Are you going to send me home?” The usual self-satisfied expression disappears as well, and Ashton looks almost worried.
“I’m not picking you at the end,” I warn him.
I’ve known Ashton for years. We run in the same circles and his sister Fenella is one of Gunnar’s best friends. Ashton is model-handsome, a racecar driver, and comes from a family worth billions.
Despite all that, I already know he’s the last one I’m ever going to pick.
There’s a flash in Ashton’s eyes that I don’t want to see—it makes me wonder if maybe he has an ulterior motive for being here, one that might be me…
But then it’s gone and Ashton laughs, his low, billionaire-playboy chuckle. “I’m hurt.”
“You’re not. Why are you here? It’s not like you’ve ever had problems finding a date.”
“Are you kicking me out already?” He gives me a cocky smile, but his eyes are still wary because, to Ashton, being sent home would mean a failure, and Ashton Carrington doesn’t fail at much. “Because I’ve got a pretty big wager that I’ll make it to the last four.”
“You came here on a bet?” There’s only amusement, no anger, because the relief that Ashton isn’t actually interested in me washes it out.
“It’s as good a reason as any. What’s yours?” he counters.
I thought a lot about Ashton last night. I thought a lot about all of the men, and about sending Asani home so quickly. And it got me worried that there may not be anyone here for me.
No one who might love me.
The thought of going through all of this—of spending time with the men, trying to be myself with them, but not too much, starting to care for them—only to not end up with anyone because they can’t love me is not a pleasant thought.
The reality of that might break my heart, but the optics of it would do more than that. If the world thought I was unlovable…
I glance over Ashton’s shoulder at the men waiting impatiently for me and give them a little wave. “Do you get along with the other guys?” I ask instead of answering.
“Are you serious? They love me.” His eyes light up. “Do you want me to spy for you?”
I laugh at his reaction. “You’re way too excited about that.”
I don’t want a spy, but I might like a back up plan. Going in to this, I knew there’s no guarantee that I’ll fall in love with someone. Or maybe I will, but there’s no certainty that the man will feel the same. So maybe things can go wrong and there’s a chance that I’ll end up with no one.
Ashton could be that back up plan. It would be easy to couple with Ashton, and then uncouple a few weeks later, to save face.
He knows the rules because he would follow them too.
I should keep him around at least for that.
He clutches his chest. “You want to be my friend? Someone to tell all your deep, darkest, sexy secrets to?”
“Don’t make me regret this,” I warn.
Ashton laughs and it’s a good laugh. It makes me think for just a moment if—
Nope. We had that moment a few years ago and—just no.
“I’ll stick around,” he says like it’s actually his decision. “But you have to give me a good one-on-one date.”
“I don’t have to give you anything.” I laugh and shoulder my way past him. “Let’s go find some whales.”
It’s a good group with lots of laughter as we drive to the marina. We take a Zodiac tour because of the small group, which means more speed and more splashes. It’s the best time of the year to see whales, and it doesn’t take us long to find the first pod of humpbacks.
