I feel his breath across my lips, and when I open my eyes, he’s right in my face. “Why did you run off last night?” he asks harshly, his breath heaving from his lungs as much as mine is,and I feel a moment of satisfaction that I gave him as much hell as he gave me. There’s a slight bruise blooming on his cheek where my head connected with it. “If you didn’t want it, you should have just said no, and we would have backed off. Tristan is miserable because he thinks we violated you.”
I close my eyes, lean my head back on the mat, and shake my head. “No, it’s fine. I did want it,” I reply, unable to meet his gaze.
“Then why rush out of there like a bat out of hell? Shit, you didn’t even have pants on, and you left your gun.”
I blow out a huge breath of air before opening my eyes and looking at him. “You know who I am, right, and what my family does?”
He frowns. “Yeah, we know who you are,” he says gruffly.
“Our life is not conducive to relationships. Letting anyone close makes them a target. Hell, what Gio has done with Casey has put her right at the top of theways we can make him sufferlist. I don’t want that for you or her. She’s too nice and not cut out for this life.”
He scoffs and releases my arms, then he sits back on his heels, allowing me to raise my body off the mat.
“You’re scared,” he accuses, and I push a stray sweaty lock of hair off my forehead.
“Damn right I’m scared. Before I got involved with Sage, my sexual experiences were strictly women and no emotions were involved. I got my orgasm, then I got out. No messy emotions, commitment, or danger of my heart getting involved.”
“Well, that isn’t strictly true, is it? You’ve been playing with Colt for a few months now,” he points out, and I feel my face flush.
“That’s another aspect of me that isn’t easy to accept. I like blood. I like to make my subs bleed. Is that something you are into?” I ask boldly, and he shrugs.
“I don’t mind a little blood play, but let me ask you this. Do you make Sage bleed? Or when you were with Vienna last week, did you want to make her bleed?”
My eyebrows jump in surprise before I can stop them. I guess they have no secrets from each other, not that I needed them to keep it a secret. I think about what he asked and shake my head. “No, I don’t need to make them bleed. Sage doesn’t like anything remotely like that—old childhood trauma,” I explain, and he nods.
“Exactly, so as long as you still have Colt who can fulfil that need, then I don’t see what the problem is, and trust me when I say Colton needs it. He might seem like a geeky computer nerd, but that boy has demons. Letting you bleed him is a release he craves.”
“But—” I begin to argue that sex isn’t the issue, but he doesn’t let me finish. He stands up and offers me his hand. I slap mine into it, and he hauls me to my feet.
“No buts, we are all adults and capable of making our own choices. Trust me when I say we can all look after ourselves. Even Casey, who might seem sweet and innocent, has her own drama. She can handle all of Gio’s shit. Also, let the four of us make our own decisions. We know what we want, and right now, that’s you and Sage, and if things progress, we can be adults and talk about it.”
“In public we’re going to have to pretend to just be friends if we ever hang out together,” I warn him, and when he goes to argue, I put up my hand. “No, I know you’re all adults, but I won’t put you at risk. If my enemies find out I feel affection for any of you, they will take advantage of that, and the last thing I want is for anyone else I have feelings for to die. Losing my dad and aunt Carla almost destroyed me, and with Uncle Mickey barely clinging to life, I wouldn’t be able to survive another loss, so those are my terms. If you can’t handle them, then we needto stop whatever this is right now.” I’m firm, and I can tell that Xavier understands I’m serious.
“Fine, but in this house, none of us will hold back. Are you okay with that?” he asks, and I shrug.
“Sure, but know that my business comes first. If I get a call and need to leave for whatever reason, then you have to let me go. You can’t come with me or be my white knight, riding in to save the day. That’s not how my life works, and you would only end up getting hurt or worse.”
“So Sage can protect you, but we can’t?” he asks stubbornly, crossing his arms and glaring at me.
I sigh. “Sage is in the life, Xavier. He knew what he was in for when my dad gave him a home.”
He drops his arms but doesn’t lose the hard expression. “Fine, I’ll let it go for now, but I will prove to you that we can take care of ourselves, and maybe then, you’ll feel comfortable with us in public.”
I give him a wry smile. “I don’t want you to think I’m embarrassed or anything. I promise it’s not that. I just don’t want you to regret any of this.”
He steps a little closer, sliding his hand onto my waist and tugging me against him, and my heart rate picks up again. He lifts his other hand and cradles the back of my head, then he gently pulls me toward him, stopping when his lips are just inches from mine.
“I assure you, I’m not going to regret this in the least,” he says before pressing his lips to mine, his tongue asking for entrance. I sigh and open for him, sinking into the kiss. There’s nothing hurried about it as he slowly maps my mouth with his, my hands wrapping around his waist as I fully submit to his strength. Before I know it, he’s pulling away, and I blink owlishly at him, my mind wiped of all worries by one freaking amazing kiss.
“See you later,” he tells me. “Maybe we can have a rematch tomorrow. I like having you under me.” He pulls away and strides off without a backward glance. I blink and shake my head, clearing it of all the lustful thoughts that replaced any resemblance of clear thought.
“Don’t think you will get me on my back quite so quickly next time,” I call after him, my voice shaky with desire, and his loud chuckle echoes back to me.
Chapter Fourteen
Itake a long shower and wash my hair, enjoying the warm water flowing over my sore muscles. That’s the hardest workout I’ve had in weeks, and I know I’m going to feel it tonight. Once I stand under the spray for way longer than I should, I turn off the faucet and climb out, wrapping a towel around my body and grabbing another to dry my hair. Sage is no longer in bed, but the room still smells like his cologne, and I smile at the rumpled bed sheets he left behind. I bet he’s already harassing Suzy for breakfast. We have that meeting with Sam and Dean first thing this morning, and I’m hoping they have a solid lead on the Lorenzo issue.
Before I can enter my walk-in closet and find some clothes for the day, there is a knock on my door. When I open it, I find Colton standing on the other side.
