I’d seen Brady around a few more times. Once on my swing and a few times in the woods. He looked right at me and smiled a couple of times. I had a feeling he’d stick around for a bit to make sure his partner was truly okay.
Mason wasn’t at my house all the time anymore, but not really byhischoice. Once everything felt safe again, I kind of pushed him away. Not on purpose, exactly, but because I was trying to protect myself. I was aware of it but couldn’t help it. I didn’t want my heart broken again, even though I had a feeling distancing myself wouldn’t save me from the pain. I told him I wasn’t ready to live together. I said I liked my solitude and that even though we’d been close when we were young, we’d only been dating a short time and it felt rushed.
The whole thing was a lie, though. I missed him when he wasn’t here. The house felt empty, lonely, and Enyo felt it too. She looked for him in his absence. He still spent the night sometimes, but I could feel myself continuing to slowly push him away before he chose to leave on his own. If it was my decision, I’d feel better in the end. No one had ever stayed, and Mason hadn’t even come to town with the intention of moving back. He didn’t want to live in Brooks Glen, he never had. I knew he felt okay enough to return to his own life in Chicago. They would assign him a psychiatrist there and he’d bury himself in what he loved.
It never would have worked anyway. He’d been with me out of a desire to protect me, using it to mask his pain like he’d used alcohol and solitude before that. When it was all over, it felt different. Maybe that was just in my head, but I was pretty sure it wasn’t. The crisis had kept him tethered to me, but he knew I was safe again now.
???
I was in the middle of making dinner when there was a knock at my door. It was probably not a good sign that heknocked when he came over, especially since he still had a key. When I opened the door, he grinned and held up a bottle. “I brought wine.”
I raised an eyebrow, because the last time we’d had wine had been the night Chris and Rory were over, and that night had been...something. We’d already planned to have dinner together tonight, and I was pretty sure he wanted to spend the night. He told me he was getting tired of his parents’ house. He was obviously bored there. He was bored in the town that he’d always dreamed of escaping. That he’dsucceededin escaping. He let me finish making dinner and sit down at the table with him before he said, “Elijah, I need to talk to you.”
My heart dropped to my feet.So this was it. I hadn’t even succeeded in pushing him away. He was getting ready to tell me he was tired of Brooks Glen, and tired of me. I didn’t look directly at him. “About what?” I managed to keep my voice steady even though my brain was screaming at me to run away and my stomach was twisting up in knots.
He looked at me, leaning forward with his arms resting on the table, his food untouched in front of him. “My boss has been calling me. They want me to come back to work. He offered me a raise and extra benefits, and told me they already have a psychiatrist ready to work with me. My apartment is still there. Everything is set so I can go back and start again.”
His eyes were burning holes in my forehead but I still couldn’t bring mine to meet his. “Oh.” My voice sounded so fucking small I wished I hadn’t spoken.
“Elijah.” I finally dragged my eyes up. He tilted his head, eyes on mine. “I want you to come with me.”
My heart shattered. I couldn’t. Even though I wanted himsobadly, I couldn’t leave my home. Brooks Glen, the cottage, they were mine. I’d made them my own. I’d worked hard for everything I had, both physically and mentally. My heart and soul were in my life here, and I knew I could never be happy living in the city, even if my heart longed forhim. It wouldn’t work because I’d be miserable and I’d make him miserable with me. Wewould both regret it.
I looked down. “I... I can’t, Mason. I’m sorry.” I felt my eyes fill with tears as I looked back at him. “I can’t leave here. Not my house, here in the woods. And my job, and all the animals. I know I could find a job there, but here... I want to go with you, but I can’t... I...”
He put up a hand to stop my rambling. “I get it,” he said softly, and the tears spilled over as I looked away. “I had a feeling you might say that,” he added.So he did know. He knew I wouldn’t be able to leave, that I’d tell him no. Had he even really wanted me to go?
“So...” He heaved a theatrical sigh. “I’ll just tell Chris I’ll take the job he offered me instead.”
My eyes snapped to his grinning face. “What?” It came out a whisper because that was all I could muster.
Mason shrugged. “A transfer will be easy. Chis has beenbeggingme to come work with him. Even got them to open up a new detective position, since everything that happened proved they needed another. And I mean,obviouslyhe wants it to be me. The entire time I’ve been here I’ve been telling him these fools he works with need someone to whip them into shape. Iam that someone. The police force here is a joke. They have no idea what’s coming for them.”
I couldn’t even respond to the utter cockiness because my lower lip was trembling. “You... but you... you’d stay? You love the city, though.”
He shrugged. “Yeah, but I love you more. It’s not like it won’t be there for me to visit. And yes, I’ll drag you along for the weekend sometimes, like it or not.” He was smirking.
A dumb sob slipped out of me. Ihatedthat he was seeing me like this over his news. I couldn’t help it, though, because I’d never found a green flag before. He was the one I’d always wanted but who I’d thought had turned into a red flag somewhere in middle school. He’d more than proven himself, though. He might be the smuggest asshole of a green flag, but he was still green, and he was mine.
When I let out the sob, Mason left his seat. “Aww, baby,” he said, for once not sounding like a cocky prick. He knelt down beside my chair and took me in a hug. I lay my head on his shoulder and let him hold me while a few more sobs hiccupped out of me. I didn’t even hate being comforted by him. “Baby, did you really think I’d be able to leave you?”
I didn’t lie this time. Didn’t try to hide my feelings. “Yes.”
He squeezed me tighter. “Damn, those assholes fucked you up.” I couldn’t argue with that. He went on. “I’m not them. I promise. I mean, I know I’m an asshole, but not that kind. No way am I letting you go now that I have you. Fuck that. You’re the only thing I’ve wanted since middle school.”
“But you hate it here,” I said, not wanting him to be miserable like I knew I would be in the city.
He pulled back and looked at me. “No. I hated who I was here. I hated what I’d done and I wanted to get away from it instead of confronting it. That was a bitch move and I’m not proud of it. But I never hated it here, and I don’t want anything other than to be with you. I’ll wait for you to be ready for me to live here with you. I worry about you out here all alone, so I’ll get an apartment on this side of town to make sure I can get here fast. I know you need your space and your solitude, and if you’re never ready, that’s okay too. I’ll still be out here most of the time bugging you like I am now, but you can keep this space as yours.” He smiled and brushed my hair out of my face.
“I want you to live here.” I blurted it out without much thought, but it was the truth. The honest and open truth that wasn’t trying to protect my heart.
My words stopped him. “What? Baby, you don’t have to say that, okay? I’m not going anywhere, I promise. No matter what. You can keep your own space if you need it.”
“No,” I said, wiping my eyes. “I was just scared of getting hurt again. But I want you to stay. I like it when you’re here. I don’t like it when you aren’t.” It really was that simple.
He smiled and pulled me back to his shoulder. “Okay. I’m going to stay the weekend and make sure you’re sure, and thatyou aren’t going to decide I’m an annoying fuck and you need a break from me for a while.”
I laughed. “You are an annoying fuck, but I still want you here.”
