I had no idea why Rory felt the need to ruin my day even further by telling me the possibility existed that I’d run into Mason again. I wasn’t sure why she didn’t think the news would bother me. Even worse, I had no idea why I’d even bothered sketching him back then. Why I’d been so obsessed with him that I went to every basketball game just to stare at him. Why, even after he made it clear that he had new friends and no longer needed me, I still pined after him like an idiot. It was as though my heart was still insistent that he was my soul mate, and wouldn’t listen when my brain said he was a complete asshole and not the person I’d thought he was growing up. He’d proven it that day, proven that the old Mason was no longer there. He’d proven that he never wanted to be so much as my friend ever again.
Mason Hale was the first of the red flags my heart decided it wanted, but he was far from the last. I slowly realized those were the guys I fell for, and it was a real problem I had. Brandon had only been one of many since Mason. I was trying to do better, though. I wasn’t sure how to do it, but I did know that Mason was the last person on earth I wanted to see. I never wanted to lay eyes on him again, and why he’d come back intomytown was beyond me. Because fuck him.
I stood up and threw the rest of my salad in the trash, since my appetite was gone. Rory was watching me. “Are you okay? I just wanted to give you a heads-up.”
“Yeah, I’m fine. I just need to get those charts done.” I headed back to the front office of the vet clinic. My head was going to be a mess for the rest of the day. On second thought, maybe Icoulduse a drink or ten later.
Chapter 4
Mason
Iended up in the diner downtown because my parents thought I needed to get out of the house. They knew what I was doing. They knew I was doing the same thing I’d done in Chicago, which was sit and stew and let the guilt consume me. I hadn’t left my apartment in weeks, having only what I needed to survive delivered, with some alcohol to make me feel worse. They offered to go into town with me, but I opted to go alone. I’d been a coward long enough, and I had to man up sometime.
The dinerwasslightly appealing, because I had so many good memories there. I was going to walk in, sit down, and ignore everyone. The location was comforting to me, despite everything.
People were staring at me as I entered. I could see them looking at me in my peripheral vision even though I refused to make eye contact with them. I thought about going to the counter since I was alone, but that felt too exposed, so I slunk to a booth in the back and sat down with my back to the room. I flipped the coffee cup over since the place was still old-school enough to put them on the table, and I picked up the menu.
The waitress came to my table with a coffee pot and did a double-take when she looked at my face. “Mason Hale, is that you?” Her face lit up with a bright smile, and it relaxed me a little. I gave her the best smile I could muster in return. Jodie had worked here back when I was a young kid bringing in my change to buy ice cream and French fries with my best friend. Well, my former best friend.
She filled my cup with coffee and gave me a pat on the back. “It’s so good to see you again, sweetie. I heard you were in town.”They all had.“You’re looking good. I hope you’re doing alright.”
She didn’t say much, trying to tiptoe around the subject to avoid causing pain, but I knew she knew why I was here. I knew all those staring eyes were aware. I just nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Thanks.”Lies.
“That’s good to hear, honey. I’m glad you’re okay. You want the usual?”Good lord, how could she still remember my order?I hadn’t been here in seven years.
“Sure, Jodie, sounds good.” She smiled and I put the unnecessary menu back in its spot. I added sugar and cream to my coffee, taking a sip and daring to glance around the diner. People looked away quickly as my eyes brushed over them. It was probably a bad idea to come to the most crowded place in town, even if it was a comfort spot. It didn’t matter that my hair was shaved on the sides instead of shaggy like it had been in high school. It didn’t matter that I’d aged seven years, which probably looked like more, or that my upper arms were covered in tattoos visible under my T-shirt sleeves. The trimmed facial hair didn’t disguise me. They all recognized me, they all remembered, and I couldn’t hide in my own hometown. I used to be the hero here, but I’d started my own downfall back then and continued it in Chicago. At least Jodie was being nice to me.
The door to the diner burst open, the bell jingling loudly enough that I turned to look. Two guys were stepping inside, and I recognized them immediately as they scanned the room. They’d been my best friends in high school. Chris was in plainclothes but had a gun and badge strapped to his waist, and the sight of him as a detective pulled at something in my heart I didn’t want to visit. He wasn’t my only high school friend who’d gone into law enforcement, but he was the only one who was a detective like me. I knew our old friend Chase Broderick was a cop too, but I hadn’t talked to him in any form since I’d left. Derrick stood beside Chris in jeans and a T-shirt, with dirty work boots on.
I didn’t actively try to get their attention but I didn’t look away when they spotted me. If anyone in town wouldn’t look at me like I was the prodigal son, it was them. They were the only two I’d stayed in touch with at all. We followed each other online, and we occasionally commented on each other’s posts. We hadn’t talked much since I’d left, but they were the only two people I’d felt were true friends back in high school, even with all those people around me. Both of them had better hearts than me, and luckily those hearts had been forgiving. They hadn’t been awful like I had, but they’d granted me mercy when I was. They knew I was aware I’d been in the wrong, but you couldn’t undo something that had already been done.
I wasn’t sure they would really want to talk to me at this point. Even my social media had been silent for months as I sank into a world of self-absorbed despair. I hadn’t replied to anyone’s comments or messages, not even the people who reached out to check on me, like Chris and Derrick.
My fear that they were angry about my silence dissipated as soon as their eyes locked with mine. They made a beeline past all the staring eyes as they headed straight for my table. Seeing them brought back a wave of nostalgia. Memories flooded my mind: the basketball games, the town cheering, cruising around on Friday nights and usually ending up in the diner. The past threatened to overwhelm me.
The two of them seemed so surprisingly eager to see me that I stood up when they approached. They didn’t slow down, and caught me in a group hug. I had no idea how they’d found me here, but assumed Chris had called my parents’ house. Hegave me a comforting pat on the back that said so much without words I was worried I’d break down right here in the diner.Wouldn’t that be a story for everyone?
“Mason.” Derrick spoke first. “How are you, bro? It’s been so long since we heard from you. We were worried.”
I looked away, toward the window, trying to get a hold on my emotions. “I’m sorry. I’ve just... I’m alright. I’ll be alright. I needed a change of scenery.” I glanced around the diner. “I’m not sure this was the right change, though.”
Chris looked me in the eye. “Hey, this was the right move. Don’t pay attention to town gossip. You’re with family, you can rest and get back to yourself. You’re safe and loved in that house, and you know it. We’re right here too. We always were, and you know us. You know me. If you ever need to talk about anything, I’m right here. Anytime.”
Chris would understand more than anyone else here, since we’d both followed the dream we’d had since middle school. We’d always known there were risks, though to be fair I’d really only thought about the risk to my own safety, not the fact that someone else being at risk could hurt me even worse.
Chris understood the brotherhood of the force, and he knew what it was like to have someone’s back and let them have yours in return. He had anideaof what it would feel like to fuck up in the most tragic way, but he’d never experienced it. He didn’t know how deeply you could sink. He didn’t know what it felt like to have guilt so thick it was like breathing in mud. What that loss felt like.
Chris also didn’t know what it was like to be a detective in a big city with real crime, though he may have had a better idea recently, because I remembered someone who was still on my socials posted an article about a murder in Brooks Glen. It caught my attention enough that I remembered it, since crime like that was virtually unheard of here, but I didn’t recall any details. I didn’t know who the victim was, if they’d caught the perp, or anything else about it. I’d been in a bad headspace when I read it, but if I had to guess, it was probably drug related, and I wascertain it was a one-off, personal thing.
They sat down in the booth across from me. “We heard what happened,” Derrick said hesitantly. “We’re really sorry, man. It wasn’t your fault.” My heart dropped and I looked away. As my eyes slid over him, I saw Chris look at Derrick in horror. Derrick paused and shifted in his seat. He didn’t understand, he couldn’t, and I knew he was trying to help but he hadn’t, because ithadbeen my fault.
Derrick stuttered around for a second, then looked down. “Sorry,” he said in a nearwhisper. I looked back at them, but I didn’t know what to say or if I could even speak.
Thankfully, Jodie came over, interrupting the awkward moment. She refilled my coffee then filled their upturned cups. “You boys want anything to eat?” she asked them brightly.
Derrick just shook his head. Chris gave her a smile. “No thanks, Jodie, just the coffee is fine.”
She smiled back at him. “Alright then, Detective Mills. Let me know if you change your mind.” She looked at me. “Your food will be right up, Mason.” I just nodded as she headed back behind the counter.
