He pointed to the nearby bathroom door.
“Brandon was really freaking out when I came out. I must have woken him even though I tried to be quiet. He was all the way awake and sober by then. He said we needed to go to the hospital. We’d tell them I tripped and fell down the stairs. The problem was, I didn’t know how I’d get to my car, because it was just too far. He helped me get my pants on, and I was practically crying by the time he was done. He put a jacket around my shoulders, because there was no way I was attempting a shirt, and he carried me to the car. I thought I was going to die during that half-mile walk. I wished I’d just pass out, but I didn’t. I bit my lip so I didn’t yell, so it was bleeding too by the time we got there. It probably would have hurt less to walk, but he drove me to the hospital and I told them I tripped halfway down the stairs that morning.”
I took a breath. “Dammit, Elijah, I’m so sorry you went through that.”I wish I hadn’t been such a coward in high school, because maybe you’d have been with me instead.
He shrugged. “It’s all in the past. I healed from it, from him, both physically and mentally. Once I got away, I realized how bad it had all been. But at the time... …I just told myself it wasn’t, I guess.” He looked down. “I did need to get that out. No one knew what really happened but me. And Brandon.” Hepaused and looked around. “But being here... it sucks.” He stared at the blood again, then slowly walked further into the room without stepping on any of it. He touched the coffee table, but jerked his hand back as soon as he did. “I don’t like this.”
I stepped forward. “What did you see?” I demanded, but when he turned to me he just looked sad.
“I didn’tseeanything. I just felt it. I felt anger, then fear.” He stepped around the blood on the floor and sat down in an old armchair that looked clean. I could practically see his own memories flitting through his mind, but he shook his head as though shaking off the bad, and closed his eyes. “I’m trying,” he whispered.
As he sat there, I seemed to lose him for a moment. He sat there like he’d fallen asleep, but I knew he was awake. It reminded me of when he’d placed his palm on mine, except his eyes were closed. He was there but not, and he didn’t respond to his name. It was over a full minute later when his eyes snapped open and he stood up. “I want to leave.”
He walked around the blood again but I caught him before he reached the door. I held his arms gently and looked into his eyes, forcing him to look back. “I need you to tell me what you saw before we go.”
There were tears in his eyes as he said softly, “He was on the couch, watching TV. Someone knocked on the door but there was no one there, just like the other night at my house. Brandon wasn’t scared, though, he was pissed. He went outside to look around, but he left his door open. They came in while he wasn’t looking. They ambushed him when he came back inside. There were at least two, but I think more. They had ski masks on. I think they were guys, but I can’t be completely sure. They stabbed him before he realized they were in here. He tried to fight back. He hit one with a glass, but I don’t think he hurt them. They just kept stabbing him, coming from different angles. When he’d hit one, another would get him. He fell there.” He pointed to the big blood stain on the floor. “But they didn’t stop. Even after he stopped fighting back, they kept going. Theyleft him there and one stepped on his phone so he couldn’t attempt to call for help. He was still alive, but barely. They just left him to die.”
His voice caught and I pulled him into a hug. I knew he cared about Brandon in some sad way, even though he knew he was better off without him. Elijah had never wanted him dead. He would never wish death on anyone, and he felt for sober Brandon who cared for him, even though the same Brandon would turn on him so often and hurt him. I’d seen enough similar cases to know how it would have turned out if Elijah had stayed with him, and it would have been a funeral that wasn’t Brandon’s.
I rubbed Elijah’s back as I embraced him. “You loved him?” I asked him softly. Not because I’d judge him for it, and not because I was jealous. I just needed to know how wounded he was right now.
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I thought I did at one point. I think he felt the same but he never would have said it, because he never even admitted he was gay.”
“When did you finally leave?” I asked him, because I had no idea how it ended, what had been the final straw.
“When he threatened me with a gun.” I couldn’t stop my hands from clenching his back a little harder. It almosthadended with Elijah’s funeral. “He said I was fucking someone else, but I wasn’t. I didn’t screw around on him the entire time we were together, even though he refused to call it a relationship and I’m pretty sure he was fucking around on me. He pointed his rifle at me as soon as I walked in the door that night, and started yelling. I almost pissed myself. I really thought he was going to do it. I tried to stay calm and talk him down. He finally lowered it and grabbed my arm, shaking me as he screamed in my face. Then he went to use the bathroom. The head start was all I needed. I ran to my car and left. He called me the next day, trying to apologize. I told him it was over. He cried and begged me not to leave him, almost had me feeling bad for him, but I told him not to call me anymore. I told him I’d call the cops if he came nearme. It was harder to do than I thought it would be.”
He gave a little sigh and I squeezed him to me.
“I always worried that he’d get drunk and come to my house. He did drunk text me a few times, trying to get me to give him one more chance. But I ignored him. I knew if I answered, I’d end up going back. He never came out to my house, but the fear that he would didn’t really go away. I was always afraid he’d show up in the middle of the night. Everyone noticed we weren’t together anymore, and Chris kept trying to hint that I could call the cops any time I needed them. I don’t know if Brandon knew they were watching or what, but I’m glad he never tried anything.”
I rubbed his back. “Do you think going anywhere else in the house would help?”
He shook his head. “No. I saw what I saw. That’s all I’m going to get from that night. They had masks on. They were average build, shorter than him, but he was tall. I couldn’t tell if there was a third or even a fourth for certain. It was like I was seeing it through his eyes, and feeling what he was feeling. He was confused, then angry, then scared. It feels bad, Mason, can we please go?”
He looked like he’d been wounded himself, and when he looked up at me with pleading eyes, I nodded. “Come on, let’s get you home.” On the way out, I asked him, “Do you think it was him? Do you think it was Brandon showing you?”
“I don’t know. I don’t really know how it works. I can’t tell if I truly felt him here, or I just feel all the memories. It just... feels awful here.” When he’d seen whatI’dgone through, though, it had been through me. I wondered if that bastard was in here, watching us.
???
We walked outside and I shut the door behind us. I really wanted to go to Brock’s house too, because maybe he’d get a better view of the perps. It was still an active crime scene underinvestigation, though, and whatever had just happened had taken a toll on Elijah. He looked rough, like he’d been up for days working nonstop. About halfway back to the car, he stopped and leaned on a tree. “Are you alright?” I asked him, moving over to him, concerned.
He nodded and took a few deep breaths. “Yeah. I feel bad for Brandon. I know that’s probably dumb of me since he was such an ass to so many people, including me, but I didn’t want him dead. I just wonder if I could have stopped it somehow. If this is truly all about me, then is it my fault? Did I get him killed somehow, just by being with him?”
A tear finally escaped and slipped down his cheek, and I reached up to wipe it with my thumb. “Hey,” I said quietly. “No, this isn’t your fault. Not at all. It doesn’t matter why they did it or what you did to upset them, this is all on them. You didn’t kill Brandon, and they made the conscious decision to plan out a murder. You’re a good person, Elijah, and you always have been. Better than most of us.” His face had fallen, though, and he looked so worried that I kissed him. He leaned into it like I was his lifeline. Maybe right now I was the only one he had, the only thing tethering him to reality and safety.
I wanted to make him feel better, but I wasn’t sure how besides the way I’d done it so far. The way I’d apologized. I let my hand trail slowly down the front of him and palmed his cock through his jeans. I could feel it thickening through the material. I didn’t give a shit that we were outside in the woods, on his ex-boyfriend’s property. Elijah might be feeling bad for Brandon, but I was feeling bad for Elijah sitting alone all night on a couch with broken ribs while that dickhead slept. I slid down to my knees in front of him.
Elijah looked down at me, flushed and confused. “Mason, what are—”
“Shh,” was all I said as I slowly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants. I glanced up once. He looked uncertain, but I waited a moment for a “bug spray” that never came. Was it really the right time? Probably not, but I kind of hoped Brandon waswatching as I pulled Elijah’s dick out, licking it from base to tip and swirling my tongue around the tip as I looked up at him. His head fell back against the tree as he moaned, and his hands found the back of my head.
I grinned as I teased him with my tongue a little more and drew out a groan, then I went for it. I sucked his dick like my life depended on his orgasm. His hands fisted in my hair as he moaned my name, and it prompted me to speed up even more. Most of his weight was leaning on the tree, but I felt his knees give a little, so I reached up and gripped his hips to make sure he didn’t fall.
His dick twitched in my mouth as I kept going, a little rougher and more aggressive than I would normally be with a blow job, because he liked that shit and I wanted him to get off quickly. I let my teeth graze his shaft on every pull. He cried out and his grip on my hair tightened almost to the point of being painful. I could already taste precum, and I had a feeling I was going to be smug soon, when I got him off faster than he could double think his decision.
His hips started giving tiny thrusts forward as he held onto my head, and I kind of liked that he was using my face to get off, taking just a tiny bit of control. Even in the short time I’d been back, I could tell that Elijah usually needed someone to take control ofhim,which was probably how he’d chosen so many fucking assholes. But I wasn’t one of them. Not anymore, and it was nice to see that I could bring out a little dominance in him occasionally. His trust that I would let him gave me a little more hope.
