“Don’t you go falling in love,” Miller scolded. “We need you back here. We miss you.” I didn’t have the heart to tell him I’d been in love with Elijah since middle school. He went on. “I get it, though. You care a lot. I’ll let you know if I come up with anything else, but from here it looks like he’s a classic prick who pissed off the wrong person. Especially in a town that size. You don’t have real crime there, so I’m sure it’s a one-off. Whether it was your friend or someone else, he probably deserved it.”
“It wasn’t my friend,” I felt the need to reiterate. “But it also wasn’t a one-off. There was another murder last night. Could you check out a Brock Gray for me?”
There was a pause. “Anothermurder? Inthatlittle town? Was this another of your man’s exes?”
I sighed. “I told you it seems like he’s being framed. I’m worried about him. That’s why I’m asking for favors.”
He hesitated, but said, “How well do you actually know this guy, Mason? I mean, you were away for a long time.”
I knew he was trying to look out for me, and his brain worked like mine. I didn’t have time to explain thoroughly, though, because my mom was already looking out the window trying to figure out why I wasn’t coming inside. “Look, Miller, I know him well. He has an airtight alibi for Brandon. He was caught on CCTV all over town the entire night of the murder. He wasn’t there. And I know where he was when Brock wasmurdered, because I was boning him at the time. It wasn’t him.”
Another pause, but he said, “Alright, alright, heard. I’ll let you know what I find. Stay safe out there, man. Never thought I’d have to say it with you goingthere,but we need you back, alright?”
I just thanked him and hung up before heading into the house. My mom had left the window, but she was waiting for me when I walked into the kitchen. She had to work today, but not for another hour. My dad was already at work. “Have you been drinking?” were the first words out of her mouth.
I heaved a huge sigh. “Mom, stop. I haven’t. I swear. And even if I had, I promise you, I’m not going anywhere right now. I get that you’re worried about me, but I haven’t had a drop since I got here. And I have a lot of reasons not to let it affect me like it did when I was alone. Okay? I swear.”
Her posture relaxed slightly. “Well, do you want to tell me what’s going on, then? You said a friend needed help last night, and you leave and come back at nine a.m. I know you’re an adult and you’ll make your own decisions, I just need a little reassurance that you’re making the right ones.”
“Mom, there’s some shit going on in this town,” I said, moving on before she could scold me for my language. “I think Elijah’s in trouble. I don’t have it all pieced together yet, but he texted me last night because someone was outside his house. I couldn’t leave him there alone, and that’s why I took the gun. He lives all alone so far out of town. But we weren’t drinking. I would never when I know I need to keep my head clear.”
My mom looked at me long and hard. I knew she wanted to believe me, and I knew she wanted me to make up with Elijah. It had been something she’d wanted since I was in middle school. “So you’re getting along again, then?” She couldn’t even hide the hopeful look on her face.
“Yeah,” I said, hoping I wasn’t getting the goofy, dreamy look that mirrored the way I felt when I thought about him. “I told you I apologized. And I keep apologizing. I think he’s starting to listen.”He’s at least letting me pound him into oblivion.
I could swear my mom heard the words I didn’t say, but she didn’t comment. She just looked at me for another moment and said, “Well, I’m happy to hear you two are talking again. Elijah needs someone around who’s good for him. His ex was garbage. Everyone knew he was abusing Elijah. The whole town whispered about it. Even some of the more conservative people who didn’t approve of their lifestyle would get upset about how he treated Elijah in public, but he was too scary for most people to be willing to confront. God knows what happened behind closed doors. Elijah has always been a good person and you two used to be so close. I was sad your friendship turned out like it did. I always thought it would be... more.” With that she turned to finish getting ready for work, leaving me stuttering in the kitchen. I finally just headed for the fridge to find something for breakfast.
It was almost ten when I got a text from Derrick.Hey, bro, I’m off work today. You feel like hanging out and catching up?
I’d had a lot going on, but after talking to my mom I kind of felt bad for not asking Derrick how he was doing. It seemed he had a lot going on too. Yeah, man, let me get a shower real quick. Where do you want to meet?
You want to go fishing out at the lake? I already have bait.
I grabbed some clothes and headed into the bathroom.Yeah, sounds good. Meet you there in thirty.He sent me a thumbs up and I headed into the shower, trying not to think of Elijah handcuffed below me, squirming wantonly, because I didn’t really have time to jerk off in the shower if I was going to make it to the lake in thirty minutes.
???
I pulled into the parking lot at the lake, thinking about all the times we’d been here as teenagers, having bonfires on the beach and drinking while hoping the cops wouldn’t come. Oh, the irony.
Derrick’s truck was already here, so I walked out onto thebeach as he was setting up his chair and a homemade rod holder. He motioned to another chair he must have brought for me. “What’s up, man?” he asked with a grin as I set up the chair and started going through his tackle box. I wasn’t going to keep anything I caught. My mom hated fish and I didn’t really like cleaning them, I just wanted to hang out with my old friend.
“Not much,” I said casually, even though there was so much going on I wasn’t sure how to process all of it. “How have you been lately? I haven’t had a chance to talk to you much.”
He shrugged but smiled. “Oh, I’m alright,” he said. “Just keepin’ on. You know, life can be shitty sometimes. I know you’ve been through a lot, and I’ve been wanting to talk to you. I don’t... I know I don’t ever have the right words, but you were one of my best friends in high school, and I know you’re going through a hard time. I don’t know how it feels, and Chris probably has a better idea than I do, but I want you to know I’m here for you if you need me, even though I might not say the right things.”
My heart went out to him for trying. “I’m alright,” I said quietly. “I’ll be okay. It’s tough, but yeah, sometimes all you can do is keep going, right? I doubt I’ll ever get rid of my guilt, but I’ll get through it. I mean, you have to, right?”
He nodded thoughtfully, casting his line as he stared out at the water. I cast my own and we just sat there. Finally, almost hesitantly, he said, “Yeah, sometimes we have to make tough calls, and we don’t always know if they’re right or wrong when we make a decision. It doesn’t make us bad people, though. We do the best we can and sometimes fate just shits on us. I’m sure he wouldn’t want you to feel guilty. What you do is dangerous; bad things can happen. I didn’t know him, but I do know a lot of police officers, and not one of them would blame you.” He paused and I saw him look at me, but I was still looking at the water. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly. “I’m doing it again, speaking out of turn. Just tell me to shut up anytime you need to.”
“No,” I said, finally looking over at him. “I hear you, and I appreciate it. I’m sure you’re right. He’d probably knock me overthe head for carrying it like I am, but it’s hard not to, you know?”
He looked back at me and gave me a little smile. “Yeah. I do.”
I hesitated but said, “I heard you’re going through a tough time right now too. Areyouokay?”
He looked down. “Oh, it’s nothing, Mason. Don’t worry about me. It isn’t anything like what you’re going through. Everything will settle down soon. I’m fine.”
“Hey,” I said gently, still looking at him. “Even if our problems are different, that doesn’t mean it’s not hard on you. I’m here for you too, you know. I don’t know exactly what happened, but if you need someone to listen, I’m your guy.”
