“You think we haven’t tried that enough?” Maybe like eight times a day over the last week, and his dick had rug-burn. “Maybe I’m having a hysterical pregnancy, and I just don’t know it.”
Laird just stared at him. “We’ve done the ultrasounds. We’ve seen the baby’s face. That was not a mass hallucination. It was not a trick pony at all. That is myson.”
“Yeah, he’s been very still today. No kicking.”
“There’s no room to kick.” Laird looked at his belly which was gigantic. “Poor thing. He’s just smooshed in there.”
“I am going to kill you when I can reach you.” Devon was only half teasing. He might smooshLaird, dammit. Ugh. He put a hand on his belly. “Cameron, we need to have a talk, kiddo.”
“Does that actually work?”
Devon shot Laird a glare. “Look, did I ask your opinion on whether or not I could talk to my son? No. He and I are having a discussion about how he needs to get out because I’m tired, and I don’t want to do this anymore. And if somebody doesn’t do something soon, I’m going to have a fucking stroke!”
D’Artagnan came bouncing up, barking with the power of his whole soul, telling Laird to back off, he was sure.
“See? The puppy loves me.”
About that time Porthos came leaping over the back of the couch and landed right on his belly.
Bang!
Then another cat flew out from the other side like he was attacking his brother. His front legs were out, paws outstretched, landing right on his belly.
Bang!
“Goddamn it!” He pushed the cats off, stood up, and whipped around to point at Laird to tell him to get the cats away.
That was when his water broke.
“Oh dear.”
“Whoa.” Laird’s eyes went wide. “Babe.”
“I know. We need to get the cats and dog out so we can clean up. After that we can call your dad and see if he cantake the puppy for the duration, just to be safe. Then Raven, to let him know we’ll need the birth center.” He marshaled Laird, who looked a little panicky.
Maybe a lot.
He waited for Laird to move, and when he didn’t, Devon just started heading up the stairs.
He needed to get cleaned up and get changed. He’d call Raven and possibly Nick so he could maybe hit Laird once or twice really hard for him.
Because he had no doubt that Laird was still standing right where he left him in the front room, but that was okay.
Devon had this.
He grabbed his phone and headed into the bathroom and called Raven, putting it on speaker so he could strip down.
“Is it time?”
“Membranes ruptured about five minutes ago. No real contractions to speak of. I’m getting ready. Laird is catatonic in the front room. I’ve got some phone calls to make. You can expect me in…let’s say twelve hours?” He started cleaning up really well.
“Do you want to labor at the birthing center? Do you want to do it at home? Had you decided yet?”
“Oh, I hadn’t thought about it too hard. I sort of want to come to the birthing center. I don’t know, though. It’s still… Do I want to have my baby at work?”
“You have a point. If I come to you, then we don’t have to worry about Laird being catatonic, but you won’t have all the neat equipment. I mean, I know how you love that birthing stool.”
“I do love that stool. Why don’t I have one here at the house?”
