Always yours,
Brennan
I lower the letter.
Dr. Halvorsen doesn’t speak immediately. “What was the hardest part to write?”
“The part where I acknowledge my chosen actions. It’s easier to apologize for general reasons than specific ones.”
“Good insight,” he says. “Also, think about this.”
“What?”
“Your apology to Amy was directed to the woman she is now but you reconciled it with the woman you loved. You were right to acknowledge both parts of her as it was a different you in that moment—something I hope you addressed in your letter to your younger self.”
I nod, letting that settle before pulling out the second letter and starting.
Young Me,
Maybe you didn’t appreciate what you were doing. Not fully. Back then, you thought backing away was protection—and it was. For yourself. The problem is you were protecting the wrong thing.
You chose to protect your dreams instead of your love’s heart.
You didn’t appreciate the damage you’d cause with that single decision. The lives you’d affect—from hers to your family’s. Not to mention your own. You let insecurity and self-preservation guide your actions. You chose the easy path, decisions by popular opinion.
But the cost of your choice? Catastrophic. Worse yet, it was paid by someone who didn’t deserve it.
I wish I could go back in time to stop you from making this mistake in every lifetime, but I can’t. You see, I’m you. And in less than a decade you’re going to find out the decisions you made were all wrong.
I’m sorry you’ll find out too late about lies from people who were “looking out for you.”
I’m sorry you didn’t listen to your heart. If you had, I might not be writing this letter.
Your future self.
I glance away from the letter to Dr. Halvorsen. “That one was harder.”
He nods. “Because it forced you to accept your choices, not just passively acknowledging your mistake?”
“That’s one way of putting it. So is saying I was a jackass.”
“Not quite how I’d say it.”
I stare over his shoulder. “Former me needed a lot of affirmation.”
He looks thoughtful. “An interesting observation.”
“Yeah.”
“Is that due to your home life as a child?”
“No, my parents were—are—amazing. Still married after almost thirty years.”
“Where do you think it comes from then?”
A great question. “My need for emotional validation? Likely hockey.”
“Interesting. Go on.”
