I’m counting that as a win.
Instead of settling the ache inside my chest, it drives my need to seek her out even more. She may not have questions, but I do.
And the biggest question of all, what am I missing?
9
HARD CYCLE BEHIND THE NET: PHYSICAL PUCK PROTECTION BELOW THE GOAL LINE
Idon’t look back when I walk away from him. Instead, I check in with all of my students before walking out of the store with my spine straight and my head held high. Though my pace is unhurried, my pulse is careening fast enough to make my smart watch believe I’m working out.
Jumbled together, some of my students are still soliciting donations. Others are debating about the merits of leavingMalik to bag if he’s “going to continue to put potatoes on top of donuts.” They’re all murmuring excitedly about seeing “theBrennan McCallister” and his departure from pro hockey.
“The hit was totally illegal,” Autumn insists.
“It was a game,” Josh counters.
“That doesn’t make it legal!”
“We’re done litigating on behalf of bad refs and tragic hockey crimes for today. You’re both supposed to be fundraising if you want to travel to OKC for states.”
They aim guilty looks in my direction before high-fiving one another. Even as they get back to directing their energy towards fundraising, I do a quick headcount out of habit.
That’s when I feel a familiar arm drape over my shoulders. I relax when I realize it’s Grayson Cedar—friend from high school, third generation grocery store owner, and a guy I entertained in my life romantically. After years of seeing pictures of Brennan in the news with models and actresses, I finally said yes to a date.
I realized my life hadn’t ended just because he stopped believing in me — even if, for a long time, it felt like I’d never feel whole again.
Gray was always a good guy; he’s just not for me. Then again, as cautious as I am to avoid being hurt, I’m certain I’ll never feel the way I did when I was with Brennan.
He declares, “This was a great idea. The customers love the idea of the kids earning their way that doesn’t require them adding on a dental trip.”
“You mean selling another box of chocolate bars doesn’t appeal to our little community?”
“Not when yours would have been the fourth club to do it.” Grayson rolls his eyes before continuing, “Made scheduling a bit complex.”
I interject, “Complexity is not a bad thing.”
He scans the area to ensure none of my students are listening before lowering his voice and murmuring, “Years ago, there were complex positions on our second date…”
I shove him away before reminding him, “You should try those positions with your fiancee.”
Unsurprisingly, that’s when Brennan exits the market. As if he senses my presence, his head whips in my direction. His steps falter when he sees the ease with which I’m comfortable with another man. A flash of something crosses his face before he pivots away.
Still, I’m at the store for a reason—to support my kids. Mentally pulling my boy shorts out of my ass, I step forward to offer Brennan help with his groceries for a donation. I’m saved by Gray when he murmurs, “I’ve got this.”
“Are you sure?”
“Take care of your kids.”
Even as I move to do just that, I hear Gray greet the man I never got over. “Hi, Brennan McCallister. Right?”
“Right.”
“Grayson Cedar—owner of Cedar Market. Looks like you were assisted by one of our student volunteers. Let me help you out to your car with your bags so I can tell you about the fundraiser going on.”
Only when I know Brennan has been corralled at a safe distance do I allow my body to relax. Because apparently no place is safe anymore now that Brennan McCallister lives in my town.
I take a deep breath and regroup before going back to my kids. Right here, right now it hits me.
