“At seven…your dad made you a man at seven. That’s probably how old Ky is.”
I think I hate Senior, or maybe I’m just climbing on my high horse like Aunt Faye says I do when I think I know other people’s lives better than they do.
Rich picks me up again and readjusts my limp body. “I told you that Ky is just a baby?—”
“And you weren’t? A seven-year-old is a seven-year-old no matter who the person is. It’s all wrong. Period.”
“Lovie…” he warns.
“Rich?”
“Let me talk.”
I focus on gulping in a mouthful of air so I won’t obsess over my hard nipples that arestillbegging for him—especially after hearing those sharp words come out of his mouth. There’s a firmness embedded in his voice that makes me climb right off my high horse and wait for him to tell me how wrong my assumptions are.
He reaches up, pushing at my headband again, nudging it back into its rightful place and murmuring, “Some boys are born to fight and some are born to just be. Ky was born to just be, and Rasheeda needs to accept that.”
“He’s a soft boy, huh? That’s the real reason you won’t teach him how to fight. That’s why you won’t take him to Lucky’s.”
“Yeah… and ain’t nothing wrong with that, no matter what anybody says. You understand?”
I nod. “Willyoursons fight?”
“I wouldn’t know ‘cause I ain’t having none.”
“So you want to be a girl-dad?”
“I don’t wanna be no kid’s daddy.”
“Does Rasheeda know that?” I ask, resting my head against his shoulder and staring up into the sky.
He tugs me closer, cocooning me in his arms. “Every woman I fuck knows what I am. I ain’t for forever, so ain’t no use in thinking about love and babies.”
“Because you were raised on survival, right?”
He snorts out a laugh, swiping his cheek against my wet one. “I leave you alone with my ole’ man for a few minutes and he already corrupting your sweet brain?”
“But is it true, though?”
“You don’t need to worry about none of that or any of that dumb shit Wendell was talking about. You worry about yourself. Put yourself back together like you told me you were gonna do.”
I try to wrap my brain around his words, but I can’t because I’m on my high horse again and Aunt Faye says that sometimeswhen I’m up there, I get selfish. But it’s the only way I can grapple with the gaping hole in my chest from not being able to see Rich take care of his own baby or the thought of him not existing one day.
I shake my head, following an airplane that sails through the sky until the back door creaks open. I shuffle against him to turn around, but he holds me still.
“Your food in the microwave, Pup!” Tamryn yells. “Grandma wanna know if your lil’ friend wanna eat?”
I scoff to myself, shaking my head.
“Nah. She straight, T!” he yells back.
“A’ight! Let me know when you ready to eat. I’ll heat it up.”
The door slams shut, and I’m grateful for his answer because I can’t go back in there. If I do, I’ll throw up everything I saw and heard tonight right on Beatrice’s wood floors.
“So what’d he say?” I ask.
“Who?”
