“How that work, mama?”
She snorts, twisting her foot.
“I got these the day after the draft when he got his signing bonus. The money hit just likethat.” She snaps her fingers. “I’d never seen twelve million dollars sitting in a bank account, and it was the first and last time I saw how much money he had.”
We turn our heads at the same time and our eyes crash into each other’s. That lost look swirls inside hers again. I try to chase it because I wanna know if that ball player is at the other end of it. I rack my brain trying to piece together the roster for the New York Knights and pick out the man that looked like he had the balls to break Slim, but I’m too stuck on the words coming out of her mouth to finish my mission.
“You know he always said I was his number one girl, but I never felt like it. When he got his first game check, his number two got a Benz and a monthly allowance, but I couldn’t even drive one of his three cars without begging him beforehand. I asked him ‘why’ one day and you know how that went…” She smiles.
I didn’t, but I wouldn’t dare interrupt her to tell her. It’s the first time I don’t have to trick her into telling me about the ugly shit she left behind in New York, and I ain’t about to ruin it.
“Terrica said he’d never buy me a car because it’d be like pushing his baby bird out of the nest to learn how to fly. I’d have too much freedom. So I accepted that, and we shopped instead. The SA at Saks must’ve seen a lot of us come through there—pretty girls with black eyes and black cards without our names on them, because she didn’t even bat an eyelash at the terrible way I smeared concealer over my eye. It was the first black eye he ever gave me, and I took it in stride because I just knew he wouldn’t dare do it again—not to a girl like me—a girl with people…with…with family.”
My stomach fumbles and I hate it.
I’ve seen the life drain from a man’s eyes, but somehow Slim telling me about the first black eye her ex-fiancé gave her makes me wanna throw up.
“After that I got whisked away to New York to shop for penthouses while my face healed. I picked out furniture, paint colors, and kitchen appliances and never once realized he didn’tplan on putting my name on the deed. He took his mom and his agent to the closing appointment for the apartment while I came back here to explain to Aunt Faye and Uncle Kenny that I was moving in with him.” She scoffs. “Iwas moving in with the man who punched me for asking why his side chick had so much freedom while I had none.”
The boiled eggs and yogurt I ate this morning gurgle in my stomach while she smiles at me with lost, empty eyes.
She shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”
“What you sorry for?”
“For vomiting my problems right at your feet. That’s not socially appropriate.”
I fold my lips under my teeth, doing my best to force my vomit down before blurting, “Not socially appropriate?”
Her eyes get big. “Yes.”
“Man, don’t you ever fix your mouth to apologize for being selfish, and fuck any stupid ass man you decide to love after this if he can’t understand that.”
Shut up, Pup.
This shit is for Kenny to explain to her—not you. Shit, if she wasyourbaby she’d hate men.
Her lashes flutter and her eyes roam around like she’s chewing on my words.
I’m fucking up.
I’m getting too invested.
Shit, I ain’t even her type.
But I’m not Red’s or Rasheeda’s either. Red said I was the only man on her roster who didn’t read manga and watch anime, but she was obsessed with the way my dick felt in her mouth, and Rasheeda’s husband was a retired dope boy turned “entrepreneur.” I’m never their type.
Fuck.
“Any man I decide to love?” Slim repeats what I said, folding her arms. “You don’t think it’d be silly of me to fall in love with another man after this?”
Hell yeah.
Love made her too soft—too skittish—too agreeable. Love made her love unlovable men.
“I don’t judge.”
“Then what do you do?”
