“Before or after you got LaTanya pregnant?”
“Before,” he mutters. “I ain’t need a doctor to tell me the ending to my story.”
“So you knew when you and Aunt Faye?—”
“Fell in love?”
“Yeah…”
“I…I did.” He swallows again.
“You let her fall in love with you knowing that you were sick all along.”
His eyes flutter shut. “I know I’m just a sel?—”
“Selfish, stupid man. I know.” I reach down, clutching his warm hand and threading our fingers together. “But sometimes love makes us stupid and selfish.”
“I had never met a woman like Faye before, and believe me, I’d met plenty. But her heart was so pure. She gave me something I never had before in the five years we spent together. She gave me a taste of the kind of life I only ever saw on TV—the kind I’d have if I wasn’t born a Lovelace—the kind of life I’d have if I hadn’t already ruined it. She makes me feel like I can conquer the world when I’m with her, and then when I’m alone with my thoughts, I feel like I’m just not enough for her. It’s crazy.”
“Love is powerful and complicated, remember?”
“I remember.”
“Love is scary too…” I drag my thumb over his soft skin, swallowing a choke. “But Rich says you told him that the only way to face his fears is to run straight at the things that scare himthe most. So you’re telling me you’re gonna let a soft emotion like love scare you more than the pit at Lucky’s? You’re gonna let your son tuck his tail and run away from real love just because it scares him? Just becauseIscare him?”
He opens his eyes and turns toward me with a soft smile. “Sweet pea…”
“Can Ipleasehave your son?” I whisper, squeezing his hand. “He took care of your baby girl, he holds his own down at Lucky’s, and he’s a man—a good one. He’s even a good friend. He did everything you asked of him. So, can I have him now? He might be too scared to run to me, but I’m not too scared to?—”
“Lovie…listen?—”
“I already know.” I squeeze his hand tighter. “And Melo Barnes doesn’t put any fear in my heart. No man does—not anymore. Your son taught me that.”
“But what you gonna do with a man like Pup? Men like us ain’t easy.”
“I know…but there’s a little Lovie inside me that’s been neglected, and Rich knows that. So he holds her, nurtures her, wipes her tears, protects her, and teaches her all the things the men in her life didn’t. So, in return, that little Lovie is gonna give him the unconditional love you talked about. That’s what I’m gonna do with him.”
A lone tear trails from his right eye.
“Let me have him,” I murmur. “Let me give him the life and love he deserves.”
“What about what he did?”
“What about it?”
“You telling me you can love a man like him?”
“Well, I loved a man like Jamari. And he taught me a lot of life lessons, but they were intertwined with pain. Your son’s lessons are different, though. I don’t have to fall and bump myhead to learn with him. He holds my hand and guides me with patience.”
His low eyes flicker with a tenderness that I never saw in Uncle Kenny’s—not even when I first came to live with him and Aunt Faye after Mama died.
“So you saying you love a fighter?”
“Unconditionally.”
“And the debt he owes?” he asks. “That’s gonna be y’all’s debt now. You know that, right?”
“I’ll take care of it.”
