“It ain’t what you think it is.”
“Faye ain’t been by here or called like usual. So it must be exactly what I think it is. You must’ve gone off and got yourself roped up in another one of those silly pussy problems, but this one ended up being a lil’ too close to home.”
“I ain’t mean to cause any static between y’all.”
“Oh, you’ll never do that. Nobody willeverdo that. Now you might’ve started some shit between her and Kenny. But me and Faye-baby?” He chuckles, shaking his head. “We don’t let outside issues interfere with what we got going on. Kenny’s got her upset behind all this shit between you and her niece and you and Melo Barnes. And you got her worked up with all this debt nonsense, but issues with me and her? Nah. I know better than to stress Faye out.”
I snort out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh, so you got it all figured out, huh?”
His hard eyes bore into mine. “There ain’t nothing to figure out. I told her Kenny wasn’t that type of man when she came running over here asking me if it was okay to have you train at Worthing. I told her she was testing his limits. Itoldher not to stress over you. But she’s hardheaded.”
“What you mean you told her ‘Kenny wasn’t that type of man’? What type of man you talkin about?”
“A righteous one.”
His words trigger that familiar pang in my chest that hits me anytime Lovie talks about all the ways Kenny shows her he doesn’t care to protect her.
“He thinks he’s one, but he ain’t.” Senior mutters.
I bite my tongue, then scoff. “If you knew he wasn’t that type of man, then why you even let Faye be with him?”
“Listen, ain’t no man out here perfect, but I know he gon’ keep a roof over her head, her bills paid and that refrigerator full… and he ain’t stupid enough to even raise a finger at her.”
“How you know that?”
“He knows if he does that he must got a death wish, ‘cause I live in the cracks of their relationship. I always have, and I always will.”
I drop my head against the back of the chair. “Wow. What a miserable fuckin way to live, huh? Living in the cracks of somebody else’s relationship.Tuh.”
“What’s miserable is watching your everything lose herself just because she chose a life with you. I love me, but I love Faye more, and how can I have the love of my life dealing with this?” He lifts his trembling hand, staring at it. “I can’t even bathe myself anymore. I used to bathe her.”
He scoffs. “Shit, I used to carry her around the house, open jars for her, change her oil, make love to her. I did everything for her with these hands.”
Instead of reminiscing about him and Faye, all I can think about is doing the same shit for Slim because my brain don’t care that we ain’t together anymore. That part of it she unlocked is still open.
I take another swig of my whiskey while that same ole’ tired song slithers through the crack in Calvin’s window. Today it feels different, just like everything else does, though. The words sneak under my skin, and the beat makes whatever this feeling is that I can’t shake hold on to me even tighter.
“Say, Cal!” I holler, sitting up. “Change that shit, man!”
Smitty laughs, pounding the hammer against a new nail he replaced my warped one with. “That’s that good ole’ Teddy P. Let the man play his music in peace.”
The haunting beat gets louder.
“Fuck you too then, Cal!” I roll my eyes, throwing back my last swallow of whiskey.
Afterward, I eye the bottom of the cup, but Senior was right. Slim ain’t there. My baby isreallygone. I really made her leave.
“Lovie know what you did?” he rasps, interrupting my search for her soft eyes in the dot of whiskey that’s left in the corner of my cup.
I swallow the bitter taste in my mouth. “What I did?”
“Yeah…does she know?”
“You mean, does she know I’m a dog?” I cut my eyes at him. “Or you wanna know if she knows I’m a killer?”
He shrugs. “I guess if that’s how you wanna think about yourself.”
“HowIthink about myself? That’s all the shit you used to tell me I was gonna be while you broke my ass.”
