My heart jumps and I exhale.
“Is that true?” she asks. “Did AJ do that?”
“Yes,” I mutter.
“Does that mean he hit you?”
I swallow the ball in my throat and croak out a “yes.”
I try to open my mouth and tell her more—like how I told Terrica and Uncle Kenny and how I felt like I lost a part of myself after every confession, but nothing comes out while the music and all the people in the park get louder.
“You could’ve told me,” she says.
I shake my head. “I…I’ve known you all my life and I know how much you try to bury your disappointment when you talk about Mama, and you wanted me to march in your house after being gone for two years and tell you I ended up in a relationship just like hers?”
She opens her trembling mouth, then closes it.
“There’s this quiet rage in your eyes when you see or hear something that reminds you of what happened to Mama—like you can’t believe she let a stupid man take her away from us forever, but you just can’t say the words. You can’t tell people how mad you were and still are at her for letting it get to that point.”
“I’m sorry, Lovie.” Her apology comes out in a featherlight whisper, but I hear it above the Tamia song Chico’s playing. “I’msosorry.”
“Yeah…me too.”
Her apology doesn’t soothe my bruises like Rich’s kisses do or reassure me I’m tough enough to pick up all the little pieces of myself AJ had torn apart. They’re just words that should’ve come out the first time she looked me up and down when I came home.
I swallow the sharp pain in my throat, glancing over at Rich and D sitting on his truck’s tailgate. I look back at her and find her looking at them too.
“He thinks I neglect you,” she mumbles, covering the potato salad and closing the cooler.
I jerk my head back while my heart jumps again. “What?”
“Rich thinks I don’t pay enough attention to you. Is that what you think too?”
Now my heart gallops.
There are times I forget I’m Rich’s best friend now and not Terrica’s, and Rich doesn’t believe in running from the things that scare us—especially that “biological thing.”
“He can be a little blunt sometimes. I…I don’t think he meant that.”
“I’ve known him a lot longer than you have. I think I know how he is. Ninety-nine percent of the time, he means what he says. But do you think that too?”
I swallow the ball in my throat. “I understand that you and Uncle Kenny didn’t ask to be my parents. It was kind of just thrust upon you. You know? It can be hard parenting a kid who’s not biologically yours.”
“Thrust upon me?” She frowns. “Lovie, wasn’t nothing thrust upon me. I promised Sonia I would take care of you if anything ever happened to her before you were even in her damnstomach. We might’ve fought about silly stuff, but that was my baby sister. We only had each other, and IknewI wasn’t letting that man’s family take you. Even if Tony and Sonia would’ve died in some other tragic way, theystillweren’t getting you. So it hurts to hear that you might think I neglect you.”
“But what about Uncle Kenny?” I rasp.
“What about him?”
“Have you ever asked him how he felt about me?”
She picks up Rich’s plate, turning toward me and looking into my eyes. “Kenny is just…just?—”
“A man?”
She sighs, nodding. “He’s safe…he’s…he’s easy and lives a slow life. All he knows is to keep the bills paid, keep a roof over our heads, take care of the gym, and take care of the boysatthe gym. His heart ain’t like Rich’s and…and?—”
“Senior’s?”
