‘I’m sorry. Is something worrying you?’
Something struck Rebecca. ‘Can you play that again?’
‘What?’ Ana’s attempt at innocence was woeful.
Rebecca sniggered.
‘You want some music on?’ asked Ana.
‘No,thatmusic.’
‘I’m not sure I?—’
‘Cut the crap,’ Rebecca said with a grin.
‘Are you sure?’
‘Play it.’ Something was pinging urgently in Rebecca’s brain.
Ana retrieved her phone and the music began to play again.
The synapses in her brain joined all the dots.
‘Lost and blind without you,’ burbled the singer, as the words poured out of the speaker.
Seriously!
Rebecca’s laughter bubbled up, exploding out of her. Shelaughed for what felt like a full minute. Gradually she caught her breath as her laugh subsided into not quite hysterical giggles.
‘What?’ asked Ana, clearly alarmed by this lunatic behaviour.
‘I am an idiot.’ She already knew she’d made the right decision but this just confirmed it.
Then she looked at Ana’s face.
‘You knew!’ she accused.
‘Yes.’ Ana ducked her head, clasping her hands together in her lap. ‘Cristina overheard him. I didn’t want to hurt your feelings, but Cristina is rather desperate for you to stay, and she heard you’d turned the job down yesterday. Felipe told her in no uncertain terms that she was not to plague you about it.’
Rebecca couldn’t help smiling. ‘So, Cristina, being Cristina, found a workaround.’
‘She did, although…’ Ana lifted her head, her gentle eyes smiling. ‘It sounds as if it was unnecessary.’
Rebecca loved that Ana didn’t push for an explanation. In her usual, quiet, serene way, she knew when to talk and when to listen. Today, Rebecca needed someone to listen.
‘Yesterday, after Inês offered me the job, I realised there was no way I could get on a plane and go home. It feels like if I do, it’s the end.’ Rebecca swallowed, reliving the moment. ‘I told Will I wanted to stay.
Ana stared at her, her mouth forming a perfect O of surprise.
‘I mean, moving in with Will, it’s what I thought I always wanted, but yesterday it struck me that it feels so final. I can’t see beyond it. I can’t see my life ahead.’ Rebecca closed her eyes for a moment. ‘It’s like a full stop.’
‘What about a life here?’ asked Ana.
‘No full stop here. I want to stay. I can imagine walking on the beach, teaching Pilates classes– but I’m not sure if I should take the job. That’s what scares me, because I know what I really want… and I can’t have it.’
‘Don’t you want to stay here?’
Rebecca shook her head. ‘Yes, but I’m not sure I can. It would be too hard.’
