Felipe frowned. ‘Sorry. It didn’t occur to me to mention it to you.’ He rubbed at his temple. ‘To be honest, you were a solution to a problem. We needed another pair of hands in the spa, in the hotel, and I wanted to trial Pilates for a season because I had a feeling it might attract day-use guests. It was something previous guests had asked for, especially when they see the Pilates pagoda in the grounds, which was one of my dad’s innovations. He envisioned a holistic spa running alongside the hotel and had just started making plans when… when he was killed.’
Despite the headache raging at her temples, Rebecca saw again with another blinding insight how important it had been to Felipe to continue his father’s legacy. A lot had fallen on his (admittedly very) broad but very young shoulders. His dedication to the hotel and family contrasted sharply with her own father, who took the family business for granted, milking the profits whenever he could, riding on the company’s success without investing time or effort or even being particularly proud of the family heritage. No wonder she’d been drawn to Will and his prodigious work ethic and the pride he took in his writing.Guilt struck her when she realised how dismissive she’d been of Felipe.
‘You’re amazing, do you know that?’ she said suddenly, leaning over and kissing his cheek. ‘Absolutely amazing.’
He touched his face, looking a little dazed. ‘What do you mean?’
‘You carry all this’—she held a hand out to indicate the property around them—‘on your own.’
‘Not on my own. Everyone pitches in and does their share. But yes, I’ve got used to running everything. WhenPaiandTiofirst died, everyone was so grief-stricken. Someone had to just get on and make all the decisions. We had to keep going otherwise we’d have lost everything. There were five mouths to feed plus the staff, many of whom had been here for most of their lives. I couldn’t afford to drop a single ball.’
She raised a sceptical eyebrow. ‘But that was ten years ago. They still all defer to you to make the final decisions.’ She’d heard Maria going on and on about butter dishes, Ana asking about flour suppliers, the girls complaining about their rotas, and seen the staff approaching him a dozen times a day. She hadn’t realised until now that they were wanting decisions.
Felipe nodded. ‘Yes, no rest for the wicked. Unless I run away to Lisbon.’
‘Hence the bolthole.’
He nodded again. ‘I love them all dearly but… sometimes it’s a lot. But,’ he said again, fiercer this time, ‘I wouldn’t change it. They’re my family. They’ll always come first. That’s why I can’t afford to have a relationship.’ He gave her a steady look. ‘I really like you, Rebecca, and I need to have some fun but I don’t have the capacity for any more. They have to be my focus. Without me steering the ship, we might sink.’ He sighed and rose wearily to his feet. ‘Break time is over. I need to get the payroll sorted out.’
She nodded, realising that for the first time she was seeing the real Felipe, a man with a lot to carry on his shoulders. Now she understood what underpinned his reasons for no-strings fun: he didn’t have the capacity for a relationship. Seeing him like this, vulnerable, weary and determined, further completed the picture of the man she was falling for. And the last thing she wanted was to be another burden for him to bear. Her family had always made out that she was the weak link because she was a girl, not as strong or as fast as her brothers. She’d fought against them, seeing her as someone who needed carrying. She wouldn’t be the reason for those dark circles under Felipe’s eyes or for him falling asleep at his desk. With her previous business experience and skills, she could help him. Will had certainly been grateful for her help over the last few years, sorting paperwork out after Alicia had died and reading and commenting on his manuscripts. It was always nice to be valued.
Five minutes later, back at his desk, she pushed him out of his seat. ‘Let me. This is the same system I use. You’ve not set it up properly. Get everyone’s payroll numbers out.’
‘Really?’
‘Really. Trust me. I know what I’m doing.’
She retyped all the numbers in and adjusted the data.
It took her half an hour and when she looked up, Felipe’s eyes were drooping. She smiled to herself, glad that she’d been able to help him.
Stubborn fool not asking for support!
No wonder he looked so tired. When at last she’d fixed the final glitch, she turned to find his head was on the desk once more. She wondered whether to wake him. Instead, she took a light throw from one of the sofas in the lounge and draped it around his shoulders before dropping a gentle kiss on his head. He was a good man, a really good man, and she’d been well andtruly taken in by the front he’d constructed. He really was rather wonderful and her heart warmed as she gazed down at him.
But there was a sudden chill as it dawned on her: here she was, again, in danger of wanting a man she couldn’t have. She was falling into the same old pattern as she had done with Will. Why did she keep doing this? What was wrong with her?
Chapter Twenty-Two
‘You look nice, Rebecca,’ said Cristina when Rebecca entered the kitchen on Saturday morning, a little groggy after being up so late with Felipe the night before. She wondered how he kept going when he worked hours like that on a regular basis.
‘We’re thinking about going to the market in Loulé,’ said Cristina. ‘It’s really cute and they have some cool stuff.’
‘Yes,’ said Katerina. ‘We can get Felipe to drive us over. He won’t mind.’
Cristina immediately skittered off to the study where Felipe was working. Rebecca now realised just how much time he spent in there when he wasn’t in the hotel or meeting suppliers in the hotel restaurant.
‘Do you want to come, Rebecca?’ asked Ana across the breakfast table, where they were all enjoying a leisurely slow start to the day. She and Maria had most weekends off to spend with the family.
‘Why not!’ replied Rebecca, loath to give in to her hangover, especially as she’d already been wondering how she might spendthe day, knowing that Will was busy today. He’d texted earlier suggesting that he take her to La Cigale, the beautiful restaurant on the beachfront in Olhos De Água, for a ‘proper’ date on Tuesday evening. He’d made no reference to the previous evening and she couldn’t decide whether she was happy about that or not. Part of her was ashamed she’d thrown herself at him and he’d still turned her down– she hadn’t been that drunk. If it had been Felipe, she was sure he would have handled the situation far more graciously, making her laugh at the same time as making her feel attractive. She sighed, conflicted as ever about her feelings.
In the meantime, a trip to the market with the girls would be the perfect distraction for the increasing confusion in her head.
‘Excellent,’ said Ana. ‘If we go now we can be back for lunch at three.’
‘Very good,’ said Maria. ‘I’ve booked a table at Adego TiCosta for all of us. Why don’t you come too, Rebecca?’
‘Er…’ Rebecca was a little uncertain. She knew that this was a whole family get-together, with Sara and her husband joining from the farm, along with Inês, her husband and their children.
