‘John, have you eaten all those crisps already?’ She tutted affectionately. He blinked with surprise at the empty bowl, giving the room a perplexed once over as if to check that some alien hadn’t sneaked in and pinched them all. Dad was a crisp monster. Every night, except for the first few weeks in January — his official post-Christmas diet detox — there would be nibbles on the kitchen table which he would absently hoover up, hand on the paper propped against the table, the other making regularforays to a misshapen home-made bowl. Mum kept all of her pottery disasters.
Taking an eager sip of wine, I sank into the padded cushion on my seat at the table. My place was laid, complete with my own napkin ring, an ornate O engraved into the silver. We all had our own napkin rings, each one different, collected over the years by Mum’s incessant foraging at flea markets and antique shops. I was lucky to have an O, Kate’s was a C. As a child learning to read this had confused her no end, but Mum said it was the closest she could find. Placid Ben never questioned the W on his.
‘Ah, bliss. I love Friday nights,’ I said, taking another slurp of wine.
‘So how’s work? Kate said you were so busy on a new account.’
At the sound of Kate’s name I immediately felt guilty and prayed I looked innocent as I enthusiastically told Mum about my promotion.
‘Well done, darling. A car as well. That’s great isn’t it, John?’ She prodded Dad who was hidden behind his paper.
He peered over the top. ‘What, dear?’
Rolling her eyes she turned back to me. ‘I’ll be glad when this cricket match is over and I get a bit of sense out of him. He’s been on the phone all week, pestering poor Daniel. Stop that, John.’ She slapped Dad’s hand away, which was now stealing nuts from my little bowl. ‘You’ll never get into your whites if you keep that up.’
‘No, dear.’
I laughed. ‘Team’s all sorted then, Dad?’
‘Yes, dear. Your Daniel has been very efficient and organised. ’
‘Dad, he’s not my Daniel. He’s just a friend. He’s going out with Emily. Remember, my flatmate.’
Mum snorted and I glared at her. What had Kate been saying to her about Emily? Dad hid behind the paper again. I was far too knackered and dispirited to tell Mum the full story about the resignation note tonight, even though I knew I’d get bucket loads of sympathy and maternal indignation.
‘How did it go with Kate at the airport?’ I asked idly, deliberately not letting on I’d spoken to her earlier.
Mum groaned, ‘The usual torture. Every alarm clock in the house had to be set as well as your father’s mobile phone. We have to leave it in the garden shed every night.’
‘Why?’ I asked.
‘Because we haven’t a clue how to switch the alarm off. It beeps every morning at four thirty. In fact, John, you might as well go and put it out now, otherwise we’ll forget later.’
This was typical. My family are complete Luddites.
‘Why don’t you read the manual or ask Ben?’ I asked. Mum looked blankly at me. Neither had occurred to her. ‘Hand it over. Let’s have a look.’
Reprogramming the phone, I handed it back.
‘So did she get upgraded again?’
It was a standing joke. Kate always got up impossibly early before a flight, not because she was worried about missing it but because she was convinced that appearing at the check-in desk immaculately groomed and accessorised would secure her a place in business class.
‘Yes she did but you can’t tell her it’s pure fluke and most likely because she’s travelling solo. She insists it’s because she looks the part.’
I smiled. The biggest irony was that Kate’s much-loved Louis Vuitton luggage probably cost more than a first-class return to Australia.
‘She said your date went well.’
I looked startled. That was news to me. Kate must have been talking to Barney again. ‘She did, did she?’
‘Kate says this chap is very nice,’ said Mum, full of confidence, quoting the gospel according to my sister. ‘Barney thinks he is very smitten.’
‘Really? Maybe we’re going on another date — I must ask Barney and Kate what they’ve arranged,’ I said sarcastically.
‘Oh dear . . .’ Mum looked worried. ‘Is Barney being a bit . . .’ she trailed off.
Barney was being a lot... but I didn’t expect anything else of him. ‘It’s all right, Mum. I’ve been out twice with Ned. He’s nice enough but I’m not really interested.’
