‘Do you never want something different?’
‘No, I know what I like.’
‘I’ll be back in about twenty minutes,’ he said.
I heard a muffled confab with Emily before the front door slammed shut. I stretched lazily in the water and gave myself a stern talking to. You have to pull yourself together. Think of himas an ordinary bloke. Ordinary. Well, not ordinary. Think brick walls. Not about that chip in his tooth when he smiles or... the time we once kissed.
I closed my eyes and in a rare moment of weakness let the memory come burrowing out of the hole from where it was normally firmly tucked.
We’d both had a bit to drink. Well, I’d had quite a lot. Still reeling from Mike’s betrayal, I’d spent that particular evening proving for his benefit what a great time I was having without him. Daniel decided, for the welfare of both my liver and dignity, to intercede and insisted on taking me home.
I repaid his kindness by weeping all over him the minute he settled me on my sofa. With his arm round me, hugging me, the scent of him filling my nose, I gave in to the attraction that had always simmered just below the surface since the day I’d met him and leaned forward to trail a series of kisses along his jaw line to his lips.
The only saving grace of this cringe-worthy memory was that it wasn’t entirely one sided. Gentleman that he was, he didn’t push me away in disgust but let me kiss him. I remember moving my lips over his, the tingle of the first touch and then that joyous burst of sensation when his lips moved beneath mine.
I squeezed my eyes closed and slid further down into the bath water, recalling the feel of his hand sliding into my hair to pull me close and the kiss that went on and on with a headiness as if neither of us could get enough of the other.
As the memory smouldered, I felt my cheeks heat up. There’d been longing and pent-up passion in those kisses which led to a breathless embrace where I found the long, lean length of Daniel’s body fitted perfectly against mine.
The crash of the front door announcing the return of my housemates made us spring apart. The horrified look in his eyesmade me feel slightly sick. There was no time to say anything as the others burst into the room.
The next day I pretended I had absolutely no recollection of the previous night.
Sloshing water everywhere I sat up quickly and hauled myself out of the bath, trying to ignore the dull ache around my heart. I was an idiot. How on earth did I think rehashing old memories was going to help?
* * *
Food was a great distraction and it was fine while we were eating. Shared moans of appreciation filled the flat, as the lids were peeled off the foil trays to reveal the turmeric-infused sauces, the fragrant blend of spices and my all-time favourite smell, the distinctive aroma of basmati rice.
It was only after I’d tidied up — no surprise there then — removing the foil trays littering the coffee table and taking the plates through to the kitchen, that I started to feel uncomfortable. Emily had found an old episode ofFriendsto watch and had moved to sit on the sofa next to Daniel who was wrestling with a Sudoku in theTimes.
Suddenly Emily squealed in delight. ‘Look, Daniel. It’s Sebastian.’
Daniel raised his eyebrows. ‘Haven’t you seen this ad before?’
On screen, Sebastian, Daniel’s younger, prettier brother, was wafting round a horribly contemporary flat, all white and dark wood, spraying air freshener to mask the scent of gorgeous girlfriend number one’s perfume before the arrival of stunning girlfriend number two.
‘Definitely art imitating real life.’ Daniel grinned good-naturedly.
Sebastian’s exploits with women were legendary, but he was so charming and handsome all his girlfriends forgave him.
In a way, he and Emily would have been better suited. With a modelling and acting career, he had the celebrity lifestyle that she aspired to.
As I was watching TV I became conscious that Daniel kept looking at me. Had I got curry on my chin? Every now and then I would look up to find him staring at me, as if trying to solve some puzzle. I couldn’t help feeling it had nothing to do with the Sudoku.
WithFriendsover, Emily switched channels to some comedy drama on ITV. Speaking personally, the trials of some thirty-plus woman and her on-off relationship with a married man left me cold. My heartstrings resolutely refused to be tugged when her car broke down on a dark night in the pouring rain. Cue the shot of lover boy in a warm, cosy restaurant with his wife, ignoring his ringing mobile.
‘What a bastard,’ chimed Emily.
‘Dumb bastard more like,’ said Daniel cuttingly. ‘Messing up two lives. The girlfriend needs to wise up. She’d be better off on her own.’ He turned and looked at me with a challenging look on his face. ‘Nothing ever comes out of going out with a married man.’ Then he said more gently, ‘No matter how much you hope it will.’
Surely after Mike he knew my views on that sort of thing? Embarrassed, I just shrugged and kept my gaze glued to the screen until the credits rolled.
Jumping up without looking at Daniel, I announced I was heading to bed.
‘By the way you’ve got something on your chin,’ muttered Emily glancing up. ‘No, other side,’ she directed, as I brought my hand to my face. My fingers touched a slightly sticky patch. No wonder Daniel had been looking at me. He could have told me.Feeling foolish I sloped off to bed leaving the two of them like an old married couple; side by side but not touching, he engrossed in his paper and she watching television. It wasn’t my idea of a romantic evening.
Snuggling into bed, not even bothering to take my make-up off, I tried to ignore the feeling of dissatisfaction. Turning over I plumped up my pillow and after a long while I drifted into a lovely dream: lying on a warm beach, bathed in sunlight, wearing the perfect, tan-enhancing bikini with a cleavage to die for — when some bastard picked me up by my ankle, and dropped me into dark icy pool with a loud crash.
