‘I believe your father is close by.’
He hugged her. ‘Mama, what if he doesn’t return?’
‘He will return, son,’ she assured him, her heart full, the last barrier down. He had finally called her mother. She was his mama and knew, in the deepest part of her being, she always would be Mama to Allan Beattie. The strangeness of her life was sweetened and completed by that one word she’d never thought to hear from this child. Allan Beattie was her son, no matter what happened in the battle coming tomorrow. ‘He will return,daughter,’ she said to Pru, anchoring her, too, this wise child, this brave girl.
She looked at Private David Bartleby, no words needed. He had business with the schoolmaster.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
‘After the children are asleep I need your help,’ David whispered to Anna when she rose from the chair beside his cot, and sent the children to the veranda, promising them heaven knew what for dinner.
It was time to play the wide-eyed naïve lady again. She went into the kitchen, where the housekeeper stared at nothing, fidgeting with her household keys. Anna gathered every ounce of courage she possessed.
‘Madame, I didn’t expect to see Captain Tyler and that scoundrel foretopman again,’ she said, striving for genuine amazement. ‘Do you… May I help you provide some dinner for the little ones?’ She shook her head. ‘I do not think Private Bartleby is up for anything beyond consommé.’
Perfect. Madame Durand, no matter her level of plotting and secrecy, would always and forever be a cook. She banished Anna from her kitchen. Soon Anna heard the sound of pots and pans. The result was an excellent dinner that tasted like sawdust to Anna. The children enjoyed every bite.
She read to them in the sitting room, calm and serene, because she had no choice but to be the quiet lady the Durandsthought wasn’t bright enough to figure out anything. Let them think that.
She played cat’s cradle with the children until thankfully Allan finally yawned, and even Pru started to droop. She took them upstairs and helped Allan into his nightshirt, one that only days ago she had cut down from one of his father’s.I will see you again, John, I will, she thought fervently, even as the weight of the coming battle nearly ground her heart into powder.
She knew these clever little ones sensed something in the air and made a decision.
‘Such a day this has been,’ she said, holding their hands. ‘I think you should share a room tonight. It’s a nice thing to do when things are in a bit of commotion, don’t you think?’ She almost felt their relief. ‘Goodnight, dears.’
She undressed slowly, not bothering to light even a candle in her room, thinking about her words and wishing she could share her own bed tonight. ‘I honestly do not know what gets into women’s brains when they decide to fall in love and marry a Navy man,’ she announced to her mirror. ‘It is a great malignancy.’
‘Come now, Anna. You know you love me.’
Certain that wishful thinking was her downfall and she was sinking into imbecility, she took another look in the mirror and gasped.
There he was behind her, uniform flung onto a chair and looking pretty much as God had made him.
‘John, would you mind if I pinch you?’ she asked, coming closer to the bed. ‘I really don’t believe my eyes.’
‘I’d rather kiss you here and there in random places. Will that do?’
He was right; the random places cheered her immensely. And who would have thought that the odour of brine was an aphrodisiac?
‘I swear I am an easy mark,’ she murmured as she settled herself next to him. ‘Luckily, you’re my husband and not some random stranger.’
He was silent, not wasting a moment as he gentled her onto her back. He kissed her lips, her breast, her stomach and that sweet spot that seemed to take on a life of its own. She sighed with relief when he moved inside her, and her legs knew exactly where to go. Sensible woman always, she knew nobody died of pleasure, not even a Navy wife without her man for too long. He kissed her when she started to moan. ‘Shh, love,’ he murmured, then buried his face into her shoulder to silence himself when his peak quickly followed hers.
If he had stayed like that forever she would have let him, but no. It was as though she saw Duty tapping his shoulder, maybe whispering in his ear as not long ago she’d wanted to whisper,I love you. But for once, Duty could wait. It was her turn now.
‘John, I think I have loved you for quite a while, but…’
‘I didn’t make that easy for you, did I?’ he asked grimly, and settled beside her. ‘Anna, I owe you an apology.’ He touched her face. ‘I owe an apology to Cathy, too. What you said when you asked if I believed her when she told me to remarry…’
‘It was wicked of me! I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,’ she said. ‘I shouldn’t have…’
He stopped her words, a finger to her lips. ‘You were entirely right. So was Cathy. I may have even used war and duty to avoid the simple fact that I am a good husband and I like being married.’
She kissed his fingers. ‘John, don’t you see?’ she told him earnestly, and he smiled tenderly. ‘Cathy only wanted you to be happy. You needed a little time to see it, too, and who has time to look during a war?’
‘Iamhappy with you,’ he said simply, and kissed her, wrapping himself around her. ‘I will echo my late wife here: ifsomething happens tome, don’t stay a widow forever. What a waste of good love that would be.’
‘I like being married, too,’ she whispered in his ear. ‘I love you, John Beattie.’
