‘John Beattie, what are you planning, if I am the perfect woman?’
‘Up you get,’ he said, making her wish she had said nothing.
He didn’t go far, only to his duffel, where he pulled out an oilskin pouch. He sat down again and patted his lap. She knew what to do and did it; she was educable, after all.
‘Admiral Collingwood summoned me from the blockade to his flagship to speak about my next assignment.’ He held what looked like orders. ‘Orders are usually boring. I’ll condense it. For the first time in my life, I have dream orders that other captains would kill for.’
‘Our side or their side?’ she asked, which made him laugh.
‘Probably both, if I am honest.’
‘Is it dangerous, Captain?’
‘Orders on an ocean in wartime?’ he teased. ‘I did have an inkling when I left here that such orders might be offered to me.’
She could joke, too. ‘If you’re so busy, why am I sitting on your lap?’
‘It’s the smartest thing you ever did. The Admiral was busy with correspondence, so I sat in the wardroom and opened my mail from Allan, Mrs Fillion, and you.’
He fell silent. She understood his feelings.‘We waited to write to you,’ she told him gently. ‘Allan was upset, and I even found our hardy Pru sniffling in the pantry.’ He took her hand. ‘We wanted to have a good story to tell you. I… I suppose our letters broke your heart. We didn’t mean to.’
‘Aye, they did,’ he said, and she heard his remorse. ‘I’m still amazed at my sheer gall in foisting my troubles onto you. Ah, well. I handed Admiral Collingwood your letters when he saw how upset I was. He read them and told me his own story.’
She listened to Captain Beattie tell of a husband and father denied the chance to return home to his wife and young daughters, because of the need for vigilance in the Mediterranean Sea, Admiral Nelson’s final command.
‘Old Cuddy will likely never see his family again and he wants someone to be more lucky than he. I am to be the beneficiary.’
He found another paper, this one looking like parchment, and handed it to her. ‘This is a common licence, signed by the Bishop of Winchester. I put you in a precarious position with my well-meaning hug. I cannot in good conscience leave you in ruin. Admiral Collingwood sees this as a convenient solution to our troubles and I cannot argue with him. Itisconvenient. Miss Fontaine, I am a gentleman. I do not ruin ladies.’
‘I know you do not, Captain Beattie.’
She gave him a sideways look, feeling shy again, and wondering why, or even if, this excellent, harried, exhausted man cared anything about her, beyond his desire to do the right thing.
‘These licences are for people in a hurry,’ she said, and left unsaid,Aren’t they for people in love?That question seemed out of place here. She wanted to assure him that she was not in ahurry, because she and the children had found a peaceful haven. Sitting on his lap, she decided that a lap might prove to be a peaceful haven, too.
‘Aye, these licences are for those of us in a hurry. My ship is my parish, but it is not a place to cry the banns.’ He rested his hands palms up in her lap. ‘I have done nothing but disturb your peace, shame you and force you to…to…’
‘Dig a little deeper and help someone in need?’
He took the licence from her. For one awful moment, Anna feared he was going to rip it into pieces. He tapped her hands with it. ‘It’s good for three months, ma’am, any morning between eight and noon, except Sundays. I must leave for Gibraltar tomorrow on another fast dispatch. Before I go, may I ask the harbourmaster to alert you when the next sloop of war or frigate is heading there?’ He patted his chest and she heard paper crackle. ‘Collingwood gave me a pass to do that. That is, if you are willing to bring along Allan and take a chance on me.’
‘And Pru,’ she added. ‘I won’t come without her, too.’
‘Of course. Willyoucome?’
Under the quiet question, she heard all the uncertainty and worry that must keep such a father and captain awake at night. She had a practical mind and realised that this marriage would be extremely convenient for them both, removing her from the shame of her Plymouth circumstances, even though not of her doing, and providing both Allan and Pru with security.
‘I believe I will come, Captain Beattie,’ she said, her voice equally quiet. She had to say it. ‘I promise not to make any particular demands on you. War is not the time for that.’
She saw relief on his face, which saddened her for a moment, until she reminded herself that they barely knew each other. And there was this: Anna Fontaine had learned since January that she was far stronger than she’d thought.
‘I will come.’
‘Done, madam. See you in the Mediterranean.’
Chapter Sixteen
After a sleepless night, Anna saw him to the dispatch vessel at dawn.
