Don’t go, he wanted to tell her, and nearly did, but Mrs Fillion was giving him the practised eye that she always fixed on lodgers at the Drake, assessing him in her discerning way. He didn’t think she could read his thoughts, but felt his face grow warm at the possibility. Good Lord, when had he last blushed?
Allan saved him, turning around to see who had opened the door. ‘Papa!’ he exclaimed. ‘Look what I can do!’
He knelt to hug his son, who was a far cry from the thin child with haunted eyes cowering behind Pru, who’d brandished a poker. And there was Pru, she of the thoughtful look, who still kept her eye on Allan. John hugged them both, admired the carrots chopped so fine, and nodded to Pierre.
‘I put these little cherubs to work,’ Mrs Fillion said simply. ‘It’s hard to dwell on terrible things with a carrot peeler in hand.’
He expected Allan to cling to him, but his boy had returned to chopping carrots, giving him a glance now and then, but busy with duties, and laughing with Pru.
‘I almost feel abandoned,’ he admitted to Mrs Fillion as she poured him a cup of coffee. ‘He cried when I left.’
‘He cried here, too,’ she said. ‘He was such a sad little boy. He clutched Anna’s dress, but she was his solace. God bless her for turning to me.’ She took a sip of tea. ‘Quiet she may be, but she is far from helpless.’
‘Her brother was cut from the same cloth. I never had a lieutenant so committed to duty.’ He touched her hand. ‘I will be forever grateful that you took them in.’
‘It’s been a blessing for all of us. How long are you here?’
‘Admiral Collingwood told me I had a month, and that was two weeks ago. No time, as usual.’ He told her of his trip to Winchester Cathedral and his admiral’s near-order that he bring a wife to the Mediterranean.
He let that sink in. ‘Does Anna have any idea about this?’ Mrs Fillion asked.
‘Not yet. I don’t quite know how I feel about it,’ he admitted. Might as well air all his dirty linen.
‘I recall a sad widower for several years, who rarely said more than the barest minimum of words.’ She took his hand. ‘Everything changes, Captain Beattie.’
‘I had a lovely wife I have never had time to mourn. I know I like and admire Anna. Who wouldn’t?’ He looked down. ‘But will that be enough?’
‘Look at me, Captain,’ Grace Fillion commanded. He did. ‘I think the person you need to trust is yourself.’
He thought about that as he watched his son. To his infinite delight, Allan left the prep table, curled up in his arms without a word and closed his eyes. John motioned Pru over, shifted Allan, and whispered, ‘I have two knees, Pru.’ The workhouse child sat on the unoccupied one and rested her head against his chest. He bowed his head over his dear ones, knowing full well there would be no Allan if Pru hadn’t been there.
When he opened his eyes, Anna sat in the chair Mrs Fillion had vacated. He remained silent, watching her and thinking that everyone he wanted was within arm’s reach. How to convince Anna, though? He shoved to the back of his brain the notion that he still needed to convince himself, too.
She spoke so softly. ‘When that horrible man gave me six hours to leave, I knew Grace would take us in. Do you remember when you introduced me to her, she said to call on her if I ever needed anything?’
‘Aye, but people say things like that all the time,’ he countered, as he wondered what this quiet woman was thinking.
‘I never doubted her for a moment.’ He watched as she took a deep breath and another. ‘It was the same when you came to my door and asked if I could trust you.’
He didn’t expect that. ‘You can,’ he managed.
‘I knew that.’
‘Will you trust me again?’
‘Yes, certainly.’
‘Why? Your life was regular and orderly before I bumbled into it.’
Her expression changed, becoming thoughtful, as though weighing him in a balance. ‘My brother trusted you, Captain.’
He suddenly longed to hold her as close as he held the two children in his lap.
‘If Will did, I can,’ she said softly. ‘What do you want from me now?’
Chapter Fifteen
It was a good question. Maybe it was forward of her, but Anna wanted to know, especially since she knew every moment counted with a man expected back on duty soon. She knew it had to wait as Grace joined them and gently patted the children. ‘Up and about, you two. It’s time to set the tables in the dining room.’
