“Stop gloating,” Iris grumbled, brushing wet hair from her face.
“I prefer to look on the bright side of life. And on the bright side, I am going to be living in the lap of luxury. Do you think your betrothed has the silver spoons I’m always hearing about?”
“I’m not going to be a fun companion today,” Iris warned him.
“You’ll come around. There are so many things to love about city life.”
He launched into a list of those things, but Iris was distracted, watching her tail and scales shimmer once—twice—before they vanished completely.
Before she was bare, she slipped into the same shorts and shirt from the day before.
“Hmm,” Monty said, giving her a disapproving look.
“What? I’m … covered.”
“Did your mother happen to send you with a clothing budget?”
“Oh,” Iris said, brows furrowing.
She’d never had to consider clothing before. But even in her books, the characters spent a lot of time thinking about and discussing clothing. Iris couldn’t figure out what was wrong with the bodies everyone was born with, though. Why they felt the need to cover up so fully at all.
“I know what you’re thinking, but you have to wear clothes. Land folk get real weird if they see a nipple in the daylight. Instant pearl-clutching scandal. I mean, flash a fin, fine. Flash a boob? The mayor resigns, the stock market crashes, and someone’s grandma writes a furious letter to Congress.
“Besides, if that naked body is yours, they’ll arrest you, worship you, or propose. Possibly all three.”
At Iris’s eye roll, he flapped his wings.
“You don’t get it. You’re a mermaid. You’re not just pretty; you’re ethereal. You’ve got the flowing hair, the mythical glow, the skin shimmer. Beauty influencers would pay a fortune for that shimmer, by the way. But what do you think the land folk would do when a living fantasy saunters around the city with no pants on? They’ll crash their cars. They’ll start new religions. And don’t get me started on the poetry—it’ll be terrible. Odes. Limericks. Maybe a few tragic musicals.” Monty cringed. “You have to put on clothing. For the good of all mankind.”
“Okay, okay,” Iris said with a small smile. “I will wear clothing. But why can’t I just wear this?”
“It hasn’t been washed.”
“Washed?”
“Laundered. In a machine that swooshes the clothes around with soap. Also, if you wear the same thing every day, they’ll start whispering. They’ll assume you’re unwell,that you’ve given up; they’ll crowdfund money to buy you a new wardrobe. And it’ll be full of beige. Beige!” Monty shuddered at the thought.
“Well, Triton forbid that,” she teased.
“That’s what I’m saying. Besides, darling, you are not just normal land folk now. You are going to be political royalty. There will be entire gossip columns and ‘hot or not’ social media posts about what you wear.”
Iris let out a sigh, already exhausted just at the thought.
“Let’s get going before I change my mind and run away to live as a rogue mermaid off the coast of Antarctica with the penguins.”
“I don’t know why you’re so grumpy,” Monty declared after they caught their ride into the city. “I mean, doesn’t this just give you many more opportunities to sabotage your engagement with Mr. Tall Dark and Press-Conference-Ready?”
She hadn’t considered that.
She thought that if Finn wasn’t completely turned off by being splashed with a huge cup of salt water, nothing she could do would get him to change his mind. But actuallylivingwith him would give her many unique opportunities to make him regret the day he agreed to the arrangement.
“You know what, you’re right,” Iris agreed. “It’s not over.”
It wouldn’t be over until she was free to choose her own future once again. Or, at the very least, to choose a compatible merman who would allow her to continue to live in her beloved ocean.
“This is it,” Maria, who seemed to be some sort of employee of her mother’s, declared as she parked outside of a towering white and gleaming glass building. “Yourmother wanted me to give you this.” Maria passed a small bag between the seats. “And to advise you to use it wisely.”
Before Iris could even think to do so herself, Monty was unzipping the bag and letting out a whistle.
