I rolled my eyes. We were back to the stupid nicknames. I watched as she cooed and awed over the sleeping baby in her bassinet.
My tongue felt like it was stuck in my throat. I was in a dream I never thought would happen or wanted for myself. The beauty before me was cradling the baby bundle in her arms and cooing. I feel my dick twitch as I try to unpack why the fuck my body was reacting this way.
I muffled out a “be right back,” and ran into the adjoining bathroom. I turned the water on and splashed some cool water on my face.
“Get it together, fuck-twat,” I muttered to myself.
It was just Badger holding a baby. You never wanted kids, and now all of a sudden your loins are begging you to impregnate her?I mentally scolded myself.
Why did I have an aching need for Badger to have my child in her arms? What the fuck was happening to me? After collectingmyself, I walked out of the bathroom to see that Buddha had arrived, and was holding the baby. Emery looked abnormally small in his large arms. He gave me a welcoming smile.
“Hey, bro,” he said.
I gave him a dude-nod in response and leaned on the counter by the sink.
“Buddha, give Machine a turn, he hasn’t met her yet,” Phantom chided.
“Oh, sorry man,” Buddha said, walking over to me.
Before I could protest, Buddha placed the sleeping bundle into my arms. She was so small. I had never held a baby before, and I was pretty sure it was written all over my face. This was proven when Emery started crying, prompting Badger to laugh and walk over to me. She adjusted my arms so I was holding the baby correctly, and Emery calmed down. The contact made my heart pound. God, did I miss her. She was so close yet so far away, and I hated it.
“See, all better,” Badger cooed at Emery while rubbing the baby’s cheek with her finger.
“Here, you take her,” I said to Badger, needing her to move away from me.
Her scent was taking over my senses, making it nearly impossible to breathe. I needed air. I needed her. Needed… God, I don’t even know what I needed. This torment was driving me crazy.
Badger took the baby and started rocking her as she walked. Phantom gave me a knowing look. I hadn’t told her about what happened, and I knew that Kade would never say anything without my consent, but I could tell she knew there was something between Badger and me. Maybe she had newfound mommy wisdom or ESP. I didn’t know how this whole new mother thing worked.
“Buddha, do you think you’ll have kids?” Badger asked as he tried to steal the baby back. She whacked his arm in protest. “I just got her, you oaf.”
“Yes, I do, but not for a long time. Give her, you’ve already seen her,” Buddha whined while making ‘gimmie’ hands.
“Guys, if you can’t play nice, I’m taking her away,” Phantom said in her best motherly voice.
“No, we’ll behave!” Buddha chimed back.
I just laughed at the exchange. This group was something else. Truly a family. And seeing Badger so happy holding the baby made my heart swell.
I excused myself and gave Kade a look. He knew what I was saying without me having to actually say it.I couldn’t be there. Not near her. Not when she wasn’t mine.
Everyone said their goodbyes before I walked out of the room and left the hospital. It wasn’t until I was in my Durango that I let myself scream and punch the steering wheel.
FORTY-TWO
BADGER
I had just gotten home from the hospital when I saw it: an ominous envelope taped to my door. Immediately, I called Zombie, who answered on the fourth ring.
“I’m on my way, don’t touch anything!” he stated sternly through the phone.
I nodded, knowing he couldn’t see me, but acting on autopilot.
Zombie got to me with his assistant within twenty minutes. They took their time dusting for fingerprints and bagging items for evidence. I watched as Zombie opened the letter, and his jaw clenched. I walked over to him.
“Let me see.”
His green eyes met mine. “It’s probably best you don’t see this, B.”
