“If you have something to say, say it,” I snap, harder than I mean to.
She flinches. “I was just curious what’s on your mind. You look… like you’re angry with me.”
“I’m not angry with you.”
“Then why do you sound like you’re angry with me?”
“Not everything has to do with you.” My tone is much harsher than it should be. Gianna doesn’t deserve this and yet… I can’t stop myself. I can’t treat her kindly because if I do, I’ll kiss her and that is the last thing that can happen.
“I didn’t…” She shakes her head as tears well up in her eyes. They stream down her face. I’m too shocked to do anything about it.
“Why are you crying?”
“You don’t care,” she says through her tears. “So don’t ask me.”
“I do care.”
“Don’t say those things to me. You don’t care. Because if you did, you’d let me go.”
“I told you before –,”
“I know what you said,” she snaps. “I’m still allowed to cry about it. You’re selfish. And I hate you for it. And I hate how you make me feel.”
“How I make you feel?” I swallow hard, remembering my dream from last night. “How do I make you feel?”
“Confused. And, and, and… It’s none of your business!” She gets to her feet so fast, her chair falls to the floor. The clatter is loud in the quiet room. “You are the worst man I have ever met.”
“Really? I would think Marco was worse. Or that fiancé of yours who was putting his hands on you when you kept telling him to stop.”
“No, you’re the worst.”
Unable to stop myself, I walk around the table until we’re toe-to-toe. “How am I the worst man you’ve ever met?”
She stares up at me with tears in her eyes, looking more sad and more beautiful than I’ve ever seen her. “Because you gave me hope that I would be free and then you took it away from me.”
“I’m a hitman, Gianna. I’ve never given you hope. I never promised to let you go.”
“I know. But for a moment… I thought you would let me go. I thought when you didn’t kill that woman because of me that you had changed. That there was good in you. But now I know there’s nothing but darkness in you. You would stand there and watch me cry while you do nothing. While you feel nothing. That’s why you’re the worst. With Marco, I knew he was evil. He’s been at war with my brother for the past year. And as for Nico… I saw his true colors early on. But with you… I don’t know. I thought something would be different.”
“Why did you agree to marry that man when you knew he was bad?”
“Because I was willing to do what I had to for peace. To do my duty to my family. But now I’ve learned that all I need in life is my freedom. I don’t want anything else. I don’t want to be married to a man I hate. I just want to be free and you could give that to me and you’re not. Why can’t you?” she sobs.
The sound of her cries is not the sounds I wanted to hear from her. Instead of pleasure, it’s only pain in her voice.
And it breaks my fucking cold heart.
“I can’t let you go,” I say more to convince myself than to convince her.
She continues to cry. It’s the loudest I’ve ever heard Gianna be. This is breaking her down and I hate to see it. I hate to see the light I’m drawn to snuffed out in her.
All because I’m not doing anything about it.
“You can’t be mine,” I say.
“I’m not asking to be. I just want to be free.”
“I can’t.”
