A thrill of equal parts joy and slight terror shoots through me. The sensation against my hand feels so foreign. Alien.
“You look like you might be sick,” she says, laughing again. Her whole belly bounces with the movement. “He’s active today.”
Thinking about our little baby boy inside kicking and moving makes my heart hammer wildly in my chest. This is surreal. Unbelievably cool.
“I can’t believe I can feel him,” I murmur. “This is insane, honey.”
She watches me as I rub other areas and jiggle her stomach trying to get Buck to move again. When I bring my mouth to her belly and speak to him, he starts wriggling again.
“You like Daddy’s voice?” I say, grinning like an idiot. “I love you, little man. Daddy loves you.”
Every worry, every stressor, every confusing emotion is gone in this moment. All that matters is the sweet little thing growing in Abby’s body. The little boy we made.
My eyes burn like I might tear up and my throat feels tight. Abby, who’s been watching my every move, smiles tearfully at me. I kiss her stomach and inhale her familiar scent.
I love…this.
I’m not sure how long I remain here, playing with my unborn baby and relishing every precious second, but it’s eventually interrupted by the knocking on her front door. We both freeze.
When it opens, I expect to see Angela but am relieved when it’s only Riko. His gaze sweeps over us, and he gives me a small frown.
“She’s getting antsy over there,” Riko says. “I’ve stalled long enough.”
Abby stiffens. “Angela’s next door?”
I cringe and give the barest of nods. A small whining sound escapes Abby as she scrambles away from me and off the couch. Jumping to my feet, I panic and shake my head in warning.
“Don’t go over there,” I bark out, sharper than I intend. “Don’t do this to me, Abs. Please.”
Her bottom lip trembles and a tear races down her cheek. “Trust me. I have zero desire to go over there and ruin your perfect little life. Just go, Rhett. You know you want to.”
I ache to stay with her but she’s now glaring daggers at me, the anger quickly snuffing out her hurt feelings. The last thing I want to do is leave her like this, but I’m afraid if I try to smooth things over with her, Angela will get antsy to see what I’m up to. It’ll all blow up.
My “perfect little world” will be obliterated.
This is all my fault.
I know what I need to do now.
Back away, leave her be, and stay the course.
Why does that make me feel like throwing the fuck up?
I’m a monster for doing this to her. It ends now.
“Bye, Abs,” I choke out. “I’m sorry.”
Her heartbreaking sob can be heard as I follow Riko out of her townhouse. I’m pretty sure he calls me a fucking idiot under his breath.Tell me something I don’t know, man.
Weeks later…
I’m trying to do life with Angela. Took her on some dates, had dinner too many times with her parents, talked about wedding venues for after my proposal. It’s all perfect on paper.
And yet, I can’t see how my future shakes out with her. When I try to look ahead, it’s not her face I see. It’s not her childrenI’m holding. It’s not in a massive home with pristine furniture no one’s allowed to sit on.
This future is cozy and soft and fun.
There are cats and coffee and Sprite.
