Me: Use a selfie stick.
Riko: And how am I supposed to jerk and finger at the same time while also holding a selfie stick?
Me: I’m not watching you jerk and finger, freak.
Riko: This was a friendship test, and you failed.
Me: I bet Derek would beg to differ.
Riko: You always side with him. You’re such a grandpa bore these days.
Me: If not filming my best friend performing sex acts on himself makes me a bore, I guess I’ll wear the crown proudly.
Riko: I’ll let it slide. For now. Want to come over and hang out? Derek’s here. I’ll keep my clothes on.
Me: I’m at dinner with Angela and her parents.
He sends me a thumbs up emoji which irritates me for some reason. Whenever I mention Angela, Riko either changes the subject, acts completely fucking bored, or gives me a pitying look. If I had the balls to hear his answer, I’d confront him. But, since I refuse to care what he thinks, I don’t bring it up.
Me: I could come by tomorrow or something.
Riko: Leave the ball and chain. Hot wings and beer. My treat. JK it’s Derek’s treat.
I type and erase several times. I want to demand to know what his problem with Angela is. Except, if I demand the answer, he’s going to give it to me straight. And I just know it’s going to piss me off. I’ve been Riko’s best friend since we were kids. By him not saying anything to me, he’s doing his best to behave, but he wants to say it. Whateveritis.
When I was obsessed with this girl Savvy in high school—my foster sister at the time—Riko supported me. He thought I should go after her. Instead, I toyed with her, teased myself with something I shouldn’t want, and in the end let her slip away. It broke my heart when she left us the day she turned eighteen.
Angela is the opposite of Savvy. Wealthy, well-mannered, polished.
Maybe Riko just likes chaos. Savvy represented that for me. What would he think about my mistake with Abby?
Before I can probe that thought any longer, David peeks his head out the door.
“Everything okay?” His green eyes bore into me as if he can peel back my layers of lies. “You’re missing dinner.”
“My family,” I rush out, sighing heavily. “Dad sometimes needs help running my siblings places. We were just sorting out rides. I’m sorry.”
I shove my phone into the pocket of my slacks and step back into the restaurant. David claps me on the shoulder and squeezes.
“Family is important,” he says. “I think it’s admirable how close to them you are. Angela says great things about all of them.”
The guilt at lying to him sits heavily in the pit of my stomach. If he knew I escaped to chat with my best friend about sex, he probably wouldn’t be so pleased.
And what if he knew you slept with hisotherdaughter?
I stride over to our table, gratefully sliding into my seat beside Angela. If I stay focused on her and on my future, maybe all of this will eventually fade altogether. I can forget what happened with Abby. Maybe I can also get Riko to pull his head out of his ass and accept my girlfriend as I accepted Derek.
Angela takes my clammy hand and squeezes it. I flash her a too-bright smile. My dad always used to say, “Fake it ‘till you make it.” I’m going to apply that philosophy to my life. All I have to do is muscle through this crap and then I’ll be on the other side of it. Play pretend until it becomes real and genuine.
I can do this.
I can do anything as long as I want it badly enough.
Chapter 2
Abby
This isn’t real.
