For now, I’m going to get some sleep and try to process everything.
The rest of the weekend, I was a mess. My parents could tell something was wrong, but there’s no way I was going to tell them what happened.
Thankfully, they didn’t pry, even though I know my mom wanted to.
I’ve spent the last week at their place, mostly hiding in the pool house when I wasn’t at school or hockey.
I haven’t gone back to the dorm, and I haven’t seen Easton, Taylor, or Aria.
The guilt of what happened has been eating me alive.
I know I need to face Easton, but how the hell do I do that?
And who knows how he’s going to react. Is he going to act like it never happened, hate me for making him feel ways he doesn’t want to feel, or has this really fucked with his head?
He’s been on my mind, his mental state when it comes to all of this. Is he okay? How is he handling everything?
The thing is, I’ve never actually hated Easton. No matter how many times I tried to convince myself I did.
It wasn’t hate, rather, it was so much hurt.
I was hurt that he reacted the way he did, hurt that he threw our friendship away instead of talking to me, and hurt that we no longer were in one another's lives.
It hurt to go through high school without him, then the first few years of college.
Now all I want to do is find him, talk to him, confront him, and be there for him.
It’s fucked up, my head is fucked up. This whole fucking situation is fucked up.
I feel alone. Who can I talk to about this?
I know Lilly wouldn’t hate me for it, but I’m not in the right headspace for that right now.
Aria has been texting me, concerned about me, and I feel like a shitty friend for avoiding her. But since her breakup with Tyler, she’s gotten closer with Taylor.
I’ve been afraid that I’d run into Taylor and blurt out what happened.
It shouldn’t come from me, not if I can help it. She’s Easton’s girlfriend. He should be the one to tell her.
I know I can’t avoid this forever, but before I do anything, I need to talk this out with Aria. Maybe she can give me advice on what to do next.
Unable to sit with this any longer, I get in my car and drive to her dorm. She told me she was going to be in all night to study. Hopefully she doesn’t mind me interrupting her.
When I get to her room, I hear music playing from the other side.
Smiling, I shake my head. She loves to listen to music while studying, and even has a habit of singing along to the songs. I could never understand was how she’s able to multitask like that. I don’t need complete quiet to study, but stuff like that is too much of a distraction to me.
Knowing she won’t hear me knocking over the music, I use my spare key and let myself in.
Yeah, that was a big mistake. A very big one.
I stand in the doorway, eyes wide in horror, lips parted in shock at the sight in front of me.
Taylor and Aria are making out, hands all over each other, while Taylor gropes Aria’s breasts.
Sensing my presence, Aria looks over at me, and panic fills her eyes.
She pushes Taylor off her chest, heaving. “Bennett.”
