I’ll never forget those first few months living with Maurleen and Wyatt. The night I truly hit rock bottom.
We moved to three different places before the summer’s end. By the time I turned nineteen, my mind had become a dark, desolate wasteland. It was the first birthday I spent away from my family, and I had never felt angrier, never more alone. I had this hideous brick-red hair that I scrubbed at for what felt like hours, trying to wash it all out. I hated the color and hated the pathetic character I felt like I was becoming even more. But I liked the way the piping hot water felt against my skin. Liked the way it hurt. Liked that for the first time in months, I had an ounce of control over my life. All that steam overwhelmed me. I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t let go. And so, when I decided I’d had enough, that I’d rather die than live another day with that all-consuming hopelessness, I grabbed Wyatt’s razor and?—
I turn the flashlight off and rest against the nearest evergreen. Here, in the middle of the wilderness, where I am no one, the sky is blanketed with stars. Tears slide down my face as I take them in, heart wrenching at the thought of how much my little brother would love this glittering view. I think about the girl in the white sundress, eager for her new life to begin. If only there was some way I could have prepared her for the grief. The cruel pull of the rug from underneath her. I wish . . .Gods, I wish I could’ve had a chance to say goodbye. It’s then that the sky sheds a sparkling tear, just beneath the curve of the crescent moon. A shooting star. In a blink, it’s gone.
My wish was pointless anyway.
A sharp snap pierces the silence. I nearly soil myself as I push off the tree, only to realize I’ve been followed. Two lightning-charged eyes of cobalt appear. The rest of him blends in seamlessly with the dark void of night. Axe.
Thankfully, my lungs remember how to release all the air I’ve been holding in. The last time I saw the Alpha in his canine form, he tore into the limber vampire who sought to use me against him. Under the faint light of my phone, he pads to my side.
A sigh escapes me. “I take it you couldn’t sleep either?”
The wolf nuzzles against my coat, his cold, wet nose brushing against my trembling fingers. Glowing eyes assess my own. The brightness dulls for a moment, like he recognizes this pain better than anyone. As I look deep into those orbs, searching for some kind of affirmation, he folds his massive body around me.
My gaze drifts back up to the silvery moon. “Do you ever think,” I mutter, “that maybe it’s possible some of us are born with a broken heart? I’ve always wondered if there was something wrong with mine to begin with—that maybe it was made of glass. Because for the life of me, when I think back on my life before this, all that comes to me is this feeling of shardspiercing my insides. Maurleen always said to give it time, but Ihave. I swear, this part of me outright refuses to heal.”
The wolf stares blankly.
“Wow. That sounded pathetic.”
The beast wiggles his head so that it slips right under my arm. I embrace him fully, burying my face in damp fur. In and out, my heartbeat pounds steadier, finally relaxing. Axe remains silent and vigilant. After a few minutes savoring the quiet, a misty rain engulfs the dark forest.
I whisper into his muzzle, “Can we stay here? I don’t mind the rain.”
His back legs curl tighter around me in approval. I raise my hood over my hair, settling in. Letting him shelter me. Softly, he rumbles, as if to say,You are not alone in your grief. And you never will be again.
Finally, in my cradle of gentle darkness, a dreamless sleep claims me.
Chapter 22
VESSA
On a bustling Saturday afternoon, Nell and I head into town. The streets are flooded with tourists who trickle off a massive cruise ship docked in the harbor. Six-inch pumps lift her well above me, a reminder to everyone who the most confident woman in Tukkon is. Despite carrying the extra weight in her front, to my astonishment, she doesn’t miss a step.
Wobbling in my own stilettos, my protesting groan is slightly more obnoxious than I intended. In the tinted reflection of a storefront window, I pause to admire my glamorous transformation, courtesy of Nell. My hair has been curled in large ringlets, secured low and off to one shoulder. Beneath my coat is a fitted magenta dress with a keyhole neckline that is sure to catch my handsome date’s eyes.
At five minutes past six, Nell and I stroll through doors of Tukkon Motors. A young man who appears to be about the same age as Nell stands behind the counter. I immediately recognize him as the young boy from the igloo photo on Axe’s dresser, all grown up. His ebony hair is swept up in a messy bun, dark eyes locked onto the computer as he chats with a customer on the phone. Nell fights back a cringe. Something tells me it doesn’t have to do with the grease coating his considerably toned arms.
I do a slow turn, scanning the small shop. The waiting room is simple, complete with comfy leather chairs and a coffee machine, which I imagine Axe helps himself to regularly. Photos of old motorcycles and fishing boats adorn the walls, as well as several prized stuffed salmon mounts. In the far-left corner is a security camera monitor which pans between the back entrance, side entrance, garage, and another room which shows Axe conversing with four heavyset men. In his arms, he flips over a long barrel hunting rifle, explaining the features of the weapon.
Back in the foyer, Nell grows fidgety. She ceases chewing on her lip to whisper something in my ear when the attendant slams the phone down in the cradle.
“I apologize for that, ladies,” he says, grinning at Nell in particular. Then, he turns to face me. “You must be Vessa. It’s great to finally meet you. I’m Solmuk, Axe’s apprentice.”
“Pleased to meet you, Solmuk,” I reply.
His smile widens as he rounds the end of the counter, looking at the Beta, who might just implode if she tries to breathe. “Nell. Wow, you look amazing. Congrats on the baby!”
Flustered by the compliment, Nell turns her back to him and hastily bids me goodnight. “You two enjoy yourselves.”
Clearly, she isn’t referring to Solmuk and I.
The apprentice clears his throat. “If you don’t mind waiting just a few minutes, I think Axe should be wrapping up soon with the last client. Doesn’t sound like these guys are gonna make a move today. I can take you to his office if you’d like to wait there.”
“That would be great,” I oblige.
Solmuk swings around to lock the front door to the shop before gesturing for me to follow him down the hall.
