“A love lost is a hard thing. But the past is the past. We can’t change what has been done.”
“I know. But sometimes, in the quiet of the night, I wonder if things could have been different, would have been different if I had just let them play out naturally.”
“Perhaps they could have,” she mused. “But we will never know for certain. What matters now is what you do moving forward.”
For a moment, our thoughts were consumed by the revelation. The hum of summer insects outside served as a reminder of that fateful summer so many years ago.
“What do you plan on doing now?”
“I'm not sure yet. If I tell him, I risk undoing the relationship we’ve built. But if I don’t, this will continue to eat at me.”
Worry lines creased her forehead. “And you don’t think Jack will figure it out on his own?”
I shook my head, thinking that if it hadn’t happened by now, it would never happen. “I don’t see how.”
“For your sake, I hope you’re right. Secrets have a way of coming to the surface eventually,” she warned gently. “And itmight be better if Jack hears it from you rather than someone else.”
I looked into her wise, compassionate eyes as a lump formed in my throat. “I know… I've thought about that. But the fear of losing him for good always stops me.”
“Sara, dear. If Jack truly cares for you as much as I think he does, he will understand. He may be hurt or angry at first, but if your bond is as strong as you believe it to be, he will come around. But,” she continued, her expression turning serious, “if you choose to continue to keep this from him, and he finds out another way, you may lose him forever.”
I sat quietly, contemplating my mother’s words. I felt a rush of emotions—fear, relief and something akin to hope. Perhaps she was right, maybe it was time I faced the past and finally come clean. Either way, one thing was for certain—I was willing to do whatever it took to keep from losing Jack.
19
When I wokethe next morning, I was filled with a new resolve. As much as I wanted to be honest with Jack, I trusted that if I just gave it time, Ellie would be gone, and our lives could return to normal. So I decided to bury my secret even deeper, hoping it would never see the light of day.
After making sure Mother was comfortable, I set out for Dandridge, where I did a little shopping. I bought a new dress and some ribbons for my hair, along with a special outfit for my trip with Jack. I even picked up some steaks for dinner, hoping that we could celebrate Ellie’s departure and a return to normalcy.
By the time I got to Jack’s place, it was nearly dusk, the sky a breathtaking mix of purples and golds. I paused in the driveway, taking in the sight of our house, nestled among the trees. The sight gave me a flicker of hope that maybe life could indeed return to normal, that perhaps I had survived the storm a second time.
I parked my car alongside the white picket fence and retrieved my bags from the back seat. As I eased up the walkway, I could see Jack through the window, a drink in his hand. I felt a knot tighten in my stomach.
The front door creaked open before I even reached the porch step. Jack stood there, his face ashen and his eyes vacant.
“There you are,” I said, surprised to find him home at this hour. I set the groceries on the kitchen counter and kissed him. “I wasn’t expecting you until later.”
“Yeah, well, Matthew agreed to close up, so I decided to come home early.”
I smiled, but he didn’t smile back. “I’m glad you did because I stopped to see Gary and had him cut us a couple of steaks.”
“What’s the occasion?”
“There isn’t one. I’m just happy things are finally returning to normal.”
“And by that you mean?—?”
I cut my eyes to him. “Back to the way things were before the funeral.” I unpacked the bags and asked if he wanted to eat now or later.
He downed the rest of his drink, then got up and eased toward the living room.”I’m not really that hungry.”
“What’s the matter with you?”
“You’ve always been honest with me, right? I mean, you wouldn’t lie to me, would you?”
I froze, my hands clenched in fists at my sides. “Heavens, no. What’s got you all worked up?”
“There’s something I need to ask you, something important, and I want you to be honest.”
