I try to sound indifferent, but I’m sure the small smile tugging at my lips gives me away. I can’t help it—I love when I come first.
“Besides,” he adds, lowering his voice, “I’m not really going to watch the movie with Ambs anyway, if you know what I mean.” He gives my shoulder a playful bump like I’m one of his over-sexed football teammates.
“Okay, gross. Enough about my sister,” I say, swatting at him.
He catches my hand mid-air, and something in his expression softens. “I really am sorry about the play,” he says, pulling me into a big hug. “I wish I could fix this for you. I hate seeing you unhappy.”
A little thrill of electricity runs through my body at his touch, but I ignore it.
I have to.
I’m only human—no more immune to his good looks and charm than any other mere mortal—but it’s pointless to give in to the feelings. Hayes has never seen me that way. I’m his best friend. Safe. Familiar. Like a favorite pair of cozy socks. Or raggedy old pajamas.
And then there’s Amber.
He’s still into her, no matter how much he pretends otherwise. I don’t know why. He deserves so much better, but she’s always had a hold on him I can’t understand.
That’s why, instead of getting lost in the warmth of his delicious embrace, I fixate on the new tattoo curling along the side of his neck.
It’s stupid hot.
A bold circle with three spirals and three dots, the Greek symbol for strength. I know there’s another one, even bigger, etched along the inside of his arm. A coiled serpent, ready to strike. He got them both right after his eighteenth birthday.
“They’re going to regret passing you over,” he says, so close I feel his cool breath on my cheek. “One day, they’ll all see how special you are, just like I do. I promise.”
I push him away.
“Oh, please. Get real. That’s never going to happen.” I sigh, my gaze dropping to the cracked asphalt. “Not here, anyway.”
“Don’t say that.” His voice cuts through the air, sharp and angry. “You’re amazing and anyone who doesn’t see that is either blind or just stupid.”
My breath catches. The way he’s looking at me, I can tell he means every word.
“Careful,” I say, forcing a crooked smile to cover the sweet ache blooming in my chest. “Keep talking like that, and I might start thinking you’re secretly in love with me.”
His jaw ticks. “You don’t have to turn everything into a joke, you know. It’s okay to be hurt,” he says. “You don’t have to hide that from me.”
“I’m not,” I lie, stepping back. “It’s just a stupid play.”
His gaze doesn’t waver, too steady, too sincere, as if reading every crack I try to hide. I know he cares. I know he sees me. But he’ll never really understand what it’s like to be me. To have something you want so badly snatched away from you. Over and over.
Not when he’s Hayden Vassilios—the guy who always wins.
He gets whatever he wants. Perfect life. Perfect family. A mother that adores him, and even though his father is gone on business most of the time, he still makes it clear how much he loves Hayes. How proud he is, always showering his only son with gifts and attention.
Me?
I don’t even know my father’s last name.
He left before I was old enough to remember his face, and Mom barely mentions him. Even if I wanted to find him—and I don’t—I wouldn’t know where to start. For all I know, he’s some meth-addicted crackhead who abandoned his two daughters to go snort drugs and rob banks.
“Al—”
“I said I’m fine!” I snap, my eyes stinging. “In a few months, I’ll be at NYU where I belong, and I’ll never have to see any of these assholes ever again.”
I turn away, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. I don’t—won’t—allow myself to cry, even in front of Hayes. Crying is for silly girls like Amber, the kind who weaponize emotion to get what they want.
Not me.
