“I didn’t mean it like that,” I say quickly. “I just meant… you’re a guy. A good-looking guy. And we’re in college, and that’s what good-looking guys do in college.” I tug at the edge of the blanket. “I guess I was just surprised. That’s all.”
There. That sounds slightly more diplomatic and way less like I just called my best friend a manwhore.
He lets the silence stretch.
“So…” His mouth curves into a slow, smug grin. “You think I’m good-looking?”
I smack him under the covers.
“Oh, shut up.”
The sheets rustle faintly as he shifts underneath, moving just a little closer to me. It’s nothing, really, barely a movement, but suddenly the space between us feels smaller, tighter. Something in me stirs, sharp and wanting.
But then, a flash of memory—hours ago, me riffling through my mother’s things—and a weight slams into my chest. An awful, gnawing twist of worryhits as I remember why I came to Hayes’s party in the first place.
“Listen, Hay. I need to tell you something.” I pause, forcing myself to breathe normally. “It’s about my mom.”
That gets his attention.
“What is it?” He glances over, his eyes wide open and alert. “Is Mel okay?”
The concern in his voice is so immediate, so genuine, it makes my chest ache. He’s such a good friend to me, and he’s always been especially fond of my mother. He knows what she means to me. How she’s all I’ve ever had.
“I found something tonight. Something she’s been hiding from me.” I fiddle anxiously with the soft edges of the duvet. “Brace yourself, okay? It’s really… weird.”
He arches a brow. “Weirder than usual?”
Despite my nerves, my lips twitch with faint amusement. It’s a perfectly fair question where my mother is concerned.
Hayes has witnessed more than his share of my mom’s most unhinged moments, like the time she burned sage in the school parking lot to “cleanse my academic aura.” Or when she insisted we all wear crystal amulets during flu season. And who could forget the Thanksgiving she canceled entirely because Mercury was in retrograde and she was convinced the day was cosmically doomed? We ended up eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches in separatebedrooms, and I watchedThe Nightmare Before Christmasalone.
“I… I don’t even know where to start.” My throat tightens as I think about her letters to my father again. “I don’t know what it all means.”
“Alligator, relax,” he says, gentler now. “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out together.”
I open my mouth to respond, then freeze as a wave of sudden nausea slams into me, violent and powerful. My entire body lurches as baklava and wine start coming up.
“Oh God,” I whisper, hand flying to my mouth. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”
I bolt out of his bed and race to the bathroom, barely managing to slam the door in time. My stomach revolts as I collapse over the toilet, everything I foolishly consumed the last few hours erupting in waves.
I retch so hard, so thoroughly, my ribs scream in pain. It feels like I’m being turned inside out. For a moment, I think I might actually die.
Finally, mercifully, it ends.
I slump back, shaking, palms braced on the edge of the seat as Hayes’s fancy Japanese toilet flushes automatically. A soft whir fills the room and the bowl cleans itself, like it’s erasing every trace of my bad decisions. I wipe my mouth, watching my insides disappear without ever having to lift a hand.
Imagine… being so rich, your toilet flushes itself.
Once my wobbly legs are ready to cooperate again, I stand and rinse my mouth with the mouthwashHayes keeps under the sink and splash cold water on my face.
Hayes’s eyes are already closed when I crawl back into bed. He looks fast asleep—or at least pretending to be.
I reach for my phone on his nightstand and nearly have a heart attack when I see the time.
3:02 a.m.
Well… that’s not good.
