“What?” Amber asks, blinking like I’ve just insulted her. “You don’t want it?”
I flash a bright, fake smile. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m really focused on my songwriting right now. I can’t afford any distractions.”
“Seriously?”
Hayes stares at me like I’ve just gone totally insane.
Maybe I have.
Maybe it is crazy to turn this opportunity down, but I’ve got my pride. I don’t need my little sister bailing me out with her backhanded charity. Or worse, using me as leverage in her relationship with Hayes.
“Good to see you guys, but I’m gonna head out,” I say, handing the beer—still unopened—back to Hayes. “Catch you around!”
I’m halfway down the front steps, nearly to the driveway, when I hear footsteps pounding behind me. A hand clamps down on my shoulder and whirls me around.
“What the hell was that?” Hayes demands, eyesblazing with twin violet-blue flames. “Why would you throw away your shot at NYU?”
The gas lamps lining the driveway cast a golden halo around him, making the white of his eyes seem impossibly bright. He looks almost unreal. Like something carved from myth and fury.
“I’m not throwing anything away. I just think the play’s a dumb idea.”
“Oh yeah?” His stare burns through me. “Since when?”
I cross my arms, jaw tight.
“Since now.”
“You’re a terrible liar. You know that, right?”
“I’m not?—”
“Just tell me the truth, Al,” he cuts me off angrily. “What’s really going on.”
I look away, fixating on the scuffed studs lining my motorcycle boots, doing anything I can to avoid those all-knowing eyes.
He means well. I know he does.
Healwaysdoes.
But Hayes will never understand my life. He’ll never know what it’s like to always feel invisible. To feel like you never matter and never will. To always come in second place, constantly watching your little sister shine while you fade away into nothing.
And that’s why he’ll never get why I’d rather burn it all down—the play, NYU, my dreams—than take a damn handout from Amber. Especially if that handout brings them closer somehow, if it means I’m partly responsible for them getting back together.
Of course, I can’t tell him any of this.
“She just… pisses me off, okay?”
I let out a long, frustrated sigh and yank open the car door, annoyed at myself for showing up tonight in the first place. I knew this was a mistake.
“I get it. I know you two aren’t on great terms right now,” he says carefully, “but can’t you just try? I really think this is your ticket back in.”
“Maybe I don’t want back in.”
“But Ambs is really trying to help. Can’t you give her a chance?”
“I didn’t ask for her help. Or yours,” I say sharply. “So just stay out of it.”
He groans, throwing his hands in the air.
