I smiled against his neck. He always knew when I was beating myself up.
A few quiet minutes passed. When I eventually felt alert, I looked Chase in the eyes.
“Are you still possessed?” I asked.
He made a face. “Yeah.”
I frowned. I couldn’t help but think of Cygnet scolding me in my dream. My doubts calcified into a sharp, hard pain in my chest.
It was no use pretending anymore that I could fix this.
I couldn’t get rid of Faust. I had completely failed as an exorcist.
“I’m sorry,” I croaked.
Chase’s blond brows bunched together. “For what?”
“I can’t do this.” He looked panicked for a second before I added, “Exorcise the demon.”
He blew out a breath. “Okay, ‘cause I thought you meant cuddling.”
“No. We can do that. I mean, I shouldn’t because you’re still technically my client. But if I’m failing at my job, I might as well screw it up all the way.”
“Sagitta,” Chase said, like I was being dramatic.
“It’s fine. I’m not spiralling.” It was mostly true. Maybe five percent untrue. Then I swallowed the last scrap of my pride andsaid the thing I’d dreaded saying for a long time. “I’m going to ask for help.”
“No.”
Chase’s flat-out refusal caught me by surprise.
“Pardon?” I said.
Chase looked straight into my eyes. He found my hand and squeezed it. “Asking for help is fine, but Iknowyou can do this.”
An airy feeling fluttered in my chest. All I had done was underperform, yet Chase still believed in me?
“You’re giving me too much credit,” I mumbled.
His blue eyes gleamed with determination. “Bullshit. You’re not giving yourselfenoughcredit. I saw how you handled that imp. You were a goddamn professional, even when I almost fucked it up by getting involved.” He leaned in, nose brushing mine. “You’re good at your job. Never doubt that, okay?”
My wavering confidence turned solid again. I felt like Chase picked me up off the floor, dusted me off, and set me back on my feet. I never realized how nice it felt to have somebody’s unconditional trust.
I blinked away the hot tears forming in my eyes. “Thank you.”
He smiled. “I don’t know about you, but I’m ready to get the hell out of here and go back home. What do you think?”
The mention of home sent a gentle thrill through me. I’d never had a fixed definition of home. Even the temple, with all its luxuries and amenities, felt like a glorified dorm. It was strange, and it made me feel a prick of guilt, but the time I’d spent in Chase’s apartment felt more like home than anything else I’d experienced in a long time.
“Yeah,” I rasped. “I’d like that.”
Nobody bothered us as we left the temple grounds. Cygnet was mercifully absent, and Hartford didn’t give enough of a shit to rat out our technically-not-allowed relationship.
I never thought I’d say it was a relief to step into a jock’s apartment, but it was. The rest of the day passed in a lazy blur. We ate leftover pizza and watched underwater exploration videos until nearly midnight. Faust never came up. It all felt so normal that it looped back around to being surreal.
Especially with Chase’s arm draped across my shoulders. And my cheek resting on his broad chest. And his fingers threading tenderly through my hair.
And his legs splayed, with the button of his jeans mysteriously undone. My fingers may or may not have been involved.
