I grimaced. I’d been chatting up a storm with Faust all morning. Call me immature, but it was difficult to ignore his goading. At least I hadn’t made any deals with him.
Except that one time when I agreed to look at him in the mirror. But nothing catastrophic had happened, so I guess it was fine.
Rule 3. Demon hierarchy is based on strength. In general, larger demons are stronger. Small lesser demons, like imps, are weak & easy to exorcise. Mid-sized incubi, succubi, ghosts, and satyrs are common pests. In most cases, you are dealing with one of the above.
But don’t fret! Our expert exorcists will have you demon-free in no time.
I noticed in the mirror that Faust was shorter than me. Was he considered a mid-sized demon?
“What kind of demon are you?” I asked.
He sighed like a restless child on a road trip. “A bored one. Can we move on? Better yet, can we go buy donuts?”
I rolled my eyes. I was already walking deeper into the temple grounds on my quest to find Sagitta. I wasn’t about to leave now.
Rule 4. Demons break through the veil in 2 ways. One is by infusing their essence into inanimate objects. Avoid occult items, even toys. They are more dangeorus than they seem!
“He made a typo,” Faust pointed out.
I shrugged. “Hey man, spelling is hard.”
“The man is a professor. Do humans have no standards?”
As a guy who nearly failed English, I had no room to judge. I kept reading rule four.
The other way is direct summoning. Only highly trained exorcists may summon demons. Do not be alarmed if your exorcist summons a demon to aid in your exorcism.
Rule 5. Demonic persistence. Please be advised that if an exorcist deems it necessary, they may keep in touch with the client post-exorcism for up to one week to ensure the demon is well & truly gone. After this grace period, the client is either deemed demon-free, or the case will be transferred to a more senior exorcist.
Underneath the fifth rule was a smiley face and contact info for Fairfax’s office.
I shut the pamphlet and stuck it in the back pocket of my jeans.
“Do you have anything to say about this?” I asked Faust.
“The font choice is atrocious.”
I snorted. He wasn’t wrong.
I walked until I reached the back courtyard. It was empty and quiet. I didn’t see a soul, and my footsteps seemed to echo against the polished wood floors.
“Uh... hello?” I called. “Anyone home?”
No response.
Faust yawned.“See? Temple boring. Can we go now?”
“He’s gotta be here somewhere.”
“Tragedy strikes: Hot Stranger has stood up our hero. The only way to quell his suffering? A twelve-pack from Dustin’s Donuts.”
Stepping into the courtyard, I cupped my hands over my mouth and called, “Yo! Sagitta, are you here? I got your note!”
“Try a megaphone next time,”Faust muttered. Somehow, I felt him covering his ears, like I’d hurt them by yelling. That seemed like a bad sign. Not only did I hear his voice, but now I could visualize what he wasdoingin my mind, too.
The exorcism couldn’t come soon enough.
“Not that you asked, but you should probably know that we’re being watched,”Faust said offhandedly.
