“This is really quite snug,” Elodie said with a cheerfulness that sounded like it might at any moment snap from overstraining.
Gabriel dared not reply. He was being scratched against every inch of his body that touched the ground, even through his clothes. The coat lay crooked over his legs, and the corned beef churned in his stomach. But it was fine, all fine, so long as there was no more conversation…
“Are you terribly uncomfortable?” Elodie asked.
“No, I’m snug too,” he replied gallantly. A stick jabbed him in the ribs, and he swallowed down a curse.
“You’re lying.”
“I am not.”
“I can tell when you lie, Gabriel.”
“I don’t lie, Elodie.”
“You’ve never used the word ‘snug’ in all the time I’ve known you.”
“That’s because you’ve never seen me sleep in a pile of leaves.”
“All right. Good night, then.”
“Hm.”
Thank God, Elodie didn’t reply. Sleeping in company was difficult under any circumstances; Gabriel hated being vulnerable like that. But sleeping with his wife (who smelled like violets despite her muddy clothes, and who had no drawers on beneath her skirt, and who was moreover the most beautiful woman in all existence) felt almost impossible. She was wriggling in the leaf pile, making herself even cozier, and Gabrielhad to silently chant mathematical formulae just to stop himself from envisioning her wriggling naked beneath him.
But his lips burned from their sweet, accidental kiss, and his stomach continued to clench, making him feel literally lovesick. At least they weren’t touching, their backs to each other and five inches of safety between them. Gabriel closed his eyes…
“Happy dreams,” Elodie said, like a lovely line of music.
And Gabriel opened his eyes again, staring out into the dark, utterly lost inside his own heart.
—
“What the blimmin’heck?!”
Elodie woke in a tumble of confusion and alarm as the exclamation broke through her dreams. One minute she was strolling Lyonnesse, mapping its shores, the next a man was shouting at her. Opening her eyes, she found herself cuddled up with Gabriel beneath the elm tree. He blinked at her dazedly, as half-awake as she. Together they came into focused awareness, their eyes growing increasingly large as they realized that his arms were holding her close while one of her bare legs hooked over his thigh. At least, this was the case for approximately 1.3 seconds before the information filtered through their brains and they flung themselves up in a tangle of limbs and apologies.
“Vagrants!”
At this point, they realized a man stood in front of them. Or, to be more precise, they noticed a broom being shaken at them, behind which was the man, snarling as he wielded it furiously. Gabriel leaped to his feet, pulling Elodie up and behind him in a display of chivalry that would have made herswoon were they not under immediate threat of being bashed by dirty, cobwebby rushes.
“Are you the blighters who messed up my house?” the man demanded.
They stared at him in amazement. “You—you actually live in that cottage?” Elodie asked.
“Of course!” the man sputtered. “I go away one night and come back to find I’ve been looted!”
“We shall of course pay for the food we consumed,” Gabriel said.
“Too right you will! And what about the table?”
“Uh…” Elodie and Gabriel said in bemused unison.
“You did something to it!” The broom was rattled violently at them.
“We…cleaned it?” Elodie suggested.
“Blighters!” the man roared.
