Daniel crossed his arms and looked over the rim of his spectacles with the terrifying authority of a high-ranking agent and experienced butler. “Yes, please do disclose your mental status,” he said as Evans cowered. “Or give some other reason why you attacked a senior officer.”
“Mia Thalassi said you put her in a choke hold,” Evans explained tremulously. “She’s pretty much famous now because of it. I—I hoped you’d do the same with me.”
Alice released him with a disgusted exhalation. Daniel muttered something about twits. They turned away, heading up the stairs.
“Maybe just a punch to the jaw?” Evans called after them. “Or a bruised rib?”
Daniel said nothing, merely paused between one stair tread and the next.
The two younger agents fled.
“Juniors these days certainly are excitable,” Alice said as they continued up the stairs.
“I imagine you are used to it,” Daniel said. “Being A.U.N.T.’s second best agent and so beau— Um, I suppose you are often surrounded by admirers.”
“First best,” she answered automatically. But in fact she doubted anyone beyond Mrs. Kew and the Academy assessors had regarded her long enough to form an opinion of her, let alone an admiration. Someundecipherable emotion trembled within her at the thought, and she repressed it with brutal tranquility. “However, I am a master of disguise, so—”
Thwack!
Both agents drew their guns at the sudden sharp sound from the corridor above. They hurried up the stairs. At the top, Daniel placed a cautioning finger on his lips before stepping into the light of the corridor.
“Watch out!”
He ducked. A crossbow bolt flew over him and buried itself deep in a framed portrait of Queen Victoria hanging at the end of the corridor.
Thwack!
“Bull’s-eye!” someone shouted.
Alice turned, raising her gun in a double-handed grip—
And lowered it again as she saw a group of pirate ladies farther along the corridor.
At their forefront, Mrs. Etterly casually propped a pink, bejeweled crossbow against her hip. “Good heavens! What are you two doing onthe servants’ stairs?” she asked, and turned wide-eyed to the other pirates. They murmured that this was indeed utterly, utterly déclassé behavior.
“We just went down for a late-night snack,” Alice said.
“Did you rob the kitchen?” Millie the Monster asked, eyeing their guns.
“No, of course not.”
“Huh.” The pirates exchanged meaningful glances again; apparently this had been the wrong answer. Mrs. Etterly loaded another bolt into her crossbow.
“What are you doing?” Alice asked warily. She noticed several bolts impaled in the corridor walls at random.
Millie grinned. “Testing for secret hiding pl—”
“Sh!” Mrs. Etterly hissed. She smiled at the agents. “Testing for dry rot. Old castle like this, terrible problem. Would you like to help?”
“No, thank you,” Daniel said. “It’s been a long day. I am quite stiff. Coming, Mrs. Blakeney?” As the pirates inexplicably laughed, he grasped Alice’s wrist and tugged her along the corridor. The crossbow seemed to veer in their direction, but that may just have been a trick of the lamplight. They edged past the group and managed not to outright run toward their bedroom.
“Have a good night, Mrs. Blakeney!” someone called out.
“Thank you,” Alice said without daring to look back. “You too.”
The pirates laughed again.Thwack!went a bolt into the wall behind them.
Locking the bedroom door, the agents looked at it for a moment, then Daniel silently wedged a chair beneath its handle. Alice pushed one of their book-filled suitcases over and Daniel hauled the other on top. Standing back, they regarded the barricade wearily.
