“Yours, dear,” Jake said.
“What on earth was I thinking?”
“About the twenty-four-carat-gold vase from the Ming dynasty that stands in the Bassingthwaite library.”
The lady’s expression cleared. “Ah yes. It’s going to fill that gap in the corner just perfectly.” She indicated an area of the room Alice could not see due to the clutter of at least half a dozen golden vases. “Bring my coat and hat, Competence.”
“Yes, ma’am.” The maid turned to leave.
“And Mr. Jacobsen’s coat and hat.”
“Yes, ma’am.” She took a step.
“And gloves, scarves, galoshes, muffs, and an umbrella in case the rain returns.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Pausing, one foot tilted slightly off the ground, she waited.
“Also bring a coat for our guest. One of those I keep for when Cecilia visits.”
“Yes, ma’am.” She hurried off.
“I’m sure you’re anxious to catch up with your husband,” Jake said pleasantly to Alice as they finished their tea.
“Not at all, sir,” Alice replied. “I am happily married, and my husband is very kind to me.”
“Er... I mean, anxious about being separated from him.”
“Oh no, he is Catholic and does not believe in divorce. I must say, this tea is excellent quality. May I inquire as to the brand?”
Jake frowned slightly in bemusement. “Earl Grey. But do you not fear—?”
“Leave her alone,” Miss Darlington intervened. “The poor girl is no doubt in shock at the thought her husband may have crashedtheir house and even now may be dying as all around him the walls burn.”
“I hope that is not the case,” Alice said fervently. “I have several rare books inside that house.”
She closed her eyes as she savored another mouthful of tea, thereby missing the fact that she became the first person ever to truly shock Jemima Darlington.
6
crash landings—in the parking lot—an alarming invention— mr. and mrs. blakeney are romantic— daniel faces temptation—an efflusive welcome— badly done indeed
Whatever pirates’ souls are made out of, theirs and their houses’ are the same. This notion explained why the Bassingthwaite clan, generally considered to be piratic royalty (i.e., pompous, boring, and good candidates for beheading), possessed a premises so grand, so unwieldy, that it took four people incantating in chorus just to get it off the ground. In other words, their souls were, in their opinion, “the most exalted object we are capable of conceiving”—and in everyone else’s, just bloody difficult to manage. In any case, Starkthorn Castle was the greatest man-o’-war in England.
Although its pink frilly curtains did rather ruin the effect.
The castle stood astride a leafy Hampshire meadow like a warrior-king who had decided this would be the perfect spot for a picnic. Its granite body, crenelated along the upper edge, bristling with chimneys and cannons, seemed to have been dropped into the lush countryside without aforethought or aesthetic consideration. Partly this impressionwas due to its bleak appearance, and partly because it had crushed two trees and a fence on landing.
Alice felt claustrophobic just looking at it. She tapped her fingers together in the pocket of the green velvet coat Miss Darlington had insisted she wear. The building itself was not the problem, but the thought of having to exchange polite, cheerful greetings with its owner. She’d rather wrestle an alligator.
Although considering she was about to join a pirates’ party, she might ultimately have to do both.
Miss Darlington’s house had landed about five hundred feet from the castle in order that the lady and her husband could enjoy a holiday away from home and still be within running distance of that home if there was a problem (such as being caught with the Ming vase in their hands). Several other houses were already parked there, including the conservatory that had attacked them. Slightly to one side stood the A.U.N.T. cottage—although to use the wordstoodwas rather excessive. In fact, the cottage hunched. It drooped. It had all the structural integrity of a free verse poem in a popular magazine. No doubt Daniel would face hours of insurance paperwork upon his return to headquarters.
Alice would have pitied him were it not for the fact that doing so might lead to suggestions of her helping with said paperwork.
Daniel himself was leaning against the doorframe, arms and ankles crossed, as he watched Dr. Snodgrass screw something into the wall of the cottage. Everything about him seemed just as it should be: shirt neatly buttoned up; tie straight; hair tidy; body unbroken and strong, so strong, he could probably lift her with no effort, pinning her against—
Which is to say, Alice thought, throwing a stern frown at her imagination, he was thankfully unharmed. Not that she had worried for his safety. She’d merely disliked being unable to confirm his status, for thesake of the mission. And that was why, seeing him now, her heart danced (a mazurka—at double tempo—with her nerves shoutinghey!at every beat). Because of the mission.
