Chapter 1
Merryn, 1913
IproposetoAnselWinthropin a spontaneous rush of words, and only then do I notice that birds have fallen silent. The park holds its breath to see what will come of this boldness—Merryn Forsythe is breaking the rules again, proposing to a man. But pigeons, knowing that unspoken rules only hold humanity back, say nothing. They only cock their heads as I lean against the tree beside my friend, awaiting his yes to be as quick and jolly as ever.
AJ, have tea with me in the church bell tower!
What time?
AJ, let’s sneak into the Roman fort ruins after dark!
I’ll bring the lantern.
AJ, there are tunnels under the park!
Lead the way!
It has been this way between us since we met, one astounding yes after another. Yet today the air is different, the park heavy with low-lying fog. A muscle jerks in his cheek, but his eyes remain closed.
His silence means nothing. It only feels long because I’ve put so much stock in this. His yes will change everything, and it won’t matter if the rest of my life continues eroding.
And yet…refusing me really is the only wise thing to do.
Is AJ wise?
Not if he can help it.
My proposal seemed perfectly fitting when I said it, resembling the casual flirtation of our first meeting—what was it?—three weeks ago, here at this park. Only three weeks. I’ve eaten cheese older than that.
This is a terrible idea, isn’t it? That’s why he’s still lying back on the grass, hands behind his head, eyes closed. He is formulating his refusal. If only he’d hurry and spit it out so I might return to the business of being free.
Free from family.
Free from all financial entanglements.
And as of this week, free from my position.
But then…then I will have to face Cecil. Dear, precious Cecil. Even at seven, he’s wiser than I am. I’ll have to admit that he was right, too, and that I cannot take him along with me after all. My heart pounds hard.
I cannot be his guardian. I can scarcely be guardian of myself.
Unless…unless AJ shocks me and agrees to my madcap scheme.Right now.I puff out a breath. “Well?”
AJ peeps one eye open. “What, no declaration of undying love?” he quips. “No self-respecting gent would accept without such shows of affection.”
I jiggle my foot, glancing about the park with an odd sense of being watched by someone. “Shall I read you sonnets and kiss your fingertips?”
“At least cling to my hand when you declare your love.” He dangles it beside me.
I duck away, my face burning hotly. “For all that is holy, you needn’t say yes, AJ. Just have done with it and refuse me.”
He sits up and seizes my hands, heedless of the ladies on the path behind us. Instantly I melt in the rich brown-green of his gaze. “You’re serious.” His brow knits. “Marriage.”
I flash my cheekiest grin and shrug. “Only if you agree.” How stiff my shoulders are.
Something flashes across his face like a magic lantern show. Suddenly the romance of the moment billows up until the rightness of this risk firms up in my heart.
“So I’m the safest harbor in sight, am I? You desire security now that you’ve lost your position.”
