Benjamin’s head jerked back, and he stood there, staring at her for a long, silent moment before nudging her over and taking a seat beside her.
“I know there are twelve years difference in our ages, but before you left for school, I had thought we shared a bond,” she said with a sigh. “I wrote, but you never replied—”
He opened his mouth, and Katherine rushed to add, “I realize you were a child, and I didn’t truly expect much correspondence, but it isn’t easy to maintain a correspondence with someone who never responds. My life is not interesting enough to fill pages. When you returned home, I hoped we might rekindle a friendship of some sort, yet you only tolerate my presence. And even then, only when Mr. Archer is present.”
“You do not make it easy to be close with you, Katherine,” murmured Benjamin. “Every time I have attempted it, you bristle and snap at me.”
“Is it any wonder with our family?” she replied, slanting a look in his direction. “Whether or not we wish to admit it, our parents made us fight for our place in this family, and I learned from a young age that I am on my own. Prudence treated me like one of her responsibilities—one she didn’t have time for. Rosanna only deigned to notice me after Prudence married, when her favorite sister was no longer around. Francis, like our mother, only ever saw my flaws. And I embarrass you.”
“That isn’t—” he began, but Katherine gave him a narrowed look.
“Do not deny it, Benjamin. I’ve seen you cringe when I approach a piano, but I am not as poor a pianist as the Leighs believe me to be.”
Benjamin frowned, his eyes turning to the ground.
Shaking her head, Katherine ran a hand down her knees, straightening her skirts. “You say I’m prickly and combative, but is it any wonder when those closest to me treat me like an imposition? When those who ought to be my greatest supporters are constantly critical and cold, do you not think it is natural to assume everyone views me in that manner? That I might wish to protect my heart against further damage by keeping you at arm’s length until you prove you aren’t going to crush it beneath your boot?”
Her ribs tightened, and her eyes prickled, but she forced air into her lungs and blinked any sign of weakness away, straightening as she clenched her hands in her lap and stared at the wall opposite.
“I wish I could contradict you, but I suppose I hadn’t given it much thought,” murmured Benjamin. With a grimace, he amended, “Or not until David gave me a tongue-lashing. Several, in fact.”
Again with Mr. Archer. Katherine longed to ask him more about it, but there was little point to it. Her future was now decided, and it did not include David Archer.
“I apologize. As much as I have tried to be a good brother to you, it seems I have failed,” he said with a sigh. “But I assure you I had good intentions. However misplaced they were.”
The corner of her mouth quirked upwards. “And that is the only reason I am speaking about any of this to you. I cannot recall the last time I spoke to Mama concerning anything more important than hair ribbons.”
“You refuse to talk to her about hair ribbons.”
“Precisely,” she added in a wry tone, which drew a half-smile from Benjamin.
Shaking his head, he reached over and gave her clasped hands a squeeze. “I apologize for the Breadmores’ party. I wish I could say that I was simply mistaken, but I was a bungling fool.”
Katherine forced herself not to draw her hands away, though the reminder of the other night was hardly conducive to a tender sibling moment.
“In truth, I ought to thank you,” she said, “for it clarified things quite nicely for me.”
Benjamin’s brows shot upwards, and his gaze filled with such hope that she couldn’t help but free her hands from his. Rising to her feet, Katherine straightened her skirts and stepped away from her brother’s seat, wandering between the trunks and crates cluttering the attic.
“Do not mistake my words, Benjamin Leigh,” she said with a shake of her head. “It clarified that Mr. Archer and I are not suited for one another. We are friends, that is all.”
“Fustian,” he replied. “You two are happiest when together. And it’s clear you have feelings—”
Katherine whirled about to scowl at him. “Who said such a thing? Cannot a lady and a gentleman be friends without people speculating about them? It is ridiculous. I have already told you I do not have feelings for him, so why do you persist in pressing the issue?”
Heat filled her cheeks as she realized just how much her response said about her feelings. A lady needn’t be defensive if she felt nothing for the gentleman, but Katherine couldn’t unspeak the words.
Holding up his hands as though calming a rearing horse, Benjamin winced. “I didn’t mean to offend you, Katherine, but I have seen you both together enough times to see the truth.”
More words came to her lips, sharp and stinging, but Katherine forced herself to hold them back. With a hand over her mouth and the other curled around herself, she fought to keep a hold of her tongue, though her defenses were all primed and ready to repel Benjamin’s words. But there had been no attack. It was clear from his earnest gaze and the gentleness in his tone that her brother meant no harm.
“Is it so obvious?” she whispered as her pulse raced.
Benjamin rose from his seat with a shake of his head. “Not at all. Do not forget that I see you two together more often than anyone else.”
However, Katherine couldn’t help but wonder if he was simply being generous and giving her the words she longed to hear. But then, whilst he was playing matchmaker, the rest of the Breadmores’ gathering had thought the coupling excruciatingly hilarious.
Forcing another deep breath, she dropped her hands and faced her brother. “I believe you meant well, Benjamin, but please promise me you will stop. Please do not tell Mr. Archer anything and let things lie as they are. I assure you he does not view me as a sweetheart or even a woman.”
