Throwing her arms wide, she rounded on him. “What have I done to earn your scorn, Benjamin? What reason do you have for opening me up to such ridicule? I’ve had to bear it from Mama and Papa, and even our sisters to varying degrees, but you? I…”
Katherine closed her eyes, turning away with a shake of her head as her chest squeezed tight. What good would it do to dredge up such things? Benjamin had made his choice. It ought not to hurt so very much that yet another person thought her worthy of derision, but her heart panged and her footsteps grew heavy as she continued down the gravel drive.
“I didn’t intend for you to be laughed at, Katherine. I give you my word—”
She refused to look at him, though he sounded earnest enough. Shaking her head, she murmured, “What does it matter, Benjamin? You are like all the rest. At your best, you only tolerate me, so I don’t know why I have hoped for anything different. I’ve been a fool to linger…”
But her throat clamped tight, and she straightened her shoulders, forcing her feet onto the road.
“I—” he began.
“Let me be,” she said.
“But—” Benjamin grabbed her elbow, and Katherine yanked it free.
“Leave me alone!” She didn’t know if he fled or simply remained standing where he was, but it didn’t matter, for she walked along the road and didn’t hear his footsteps following her. Only the breezes in the trees broke the silence, scattering their foliage along the pavers.
Staring at her feet, Katherine trudged along. And in the stillness of the night, she felt certainty settle upon her. She’d been a fool to linger in Greater Edgerton. With the means to forge her own path, why was she so determined to remain at Whitley Court?
To help a brother who despised her? What good would it do when he cared not two jots for her opinion? Benjamin would choose as he saw fit; it was his future to decide.
To support a gentleman who had enough responsibilities to manage without fending off the advances of a lovestruck spinster? Mr. Archer was quite capable of making other friends.
To retain a friendship with a lady whose life was far too full for an awkward wallflower? Pamela’s letters would be more plentiful than their visits had been of late.
Hope had trapped her here with false promises of a better resolution with the former two, and Katherine was finished allowing that silly emotion to hold sway over her any more. There was no good to be had remaining in Greater Edgerton, and that knowledge wove through her until she felt it in her very bones.
The time to leave had come. Katherine was done sitting about, waiting for the life she longed to have.
Chapter 33
“Miss Leigh is not at home, sir,” said the maid. The girl gave a good show of remaining firm in the face of David’s consternation, but she couldn’t help the slight tremor in her voice at what was clearly a bald falsehood.
Euphemisms were such useless things. For all that they were purported to be a kinder way to communicate, what did it matter how the message was presented when the meaning was clear? Miss Leigh wouldn’t see him.
“When will she return?” he asked.
“I do not know.” And with that, the maid shut the door, leaving David standing on Whitley Court’s doorstep. Drawing in a deep breath, he dropped his head back and stared at the clear sky above.
Had he ruined everything? He liked to think he knew the answer to that question, but the truth wriggled in his conscience, not allowing him to confidently respond. But then, he knew the lady in question quite well.
Drawing in a deep breath, he forced himself to step back from the door. As much as he longed to beat on the blasted thing until Miss Leigh saw him, he possessed at least a modicum of sense that told him such a move would do little to earn her favor. As he turned on his heel, his boots crunched against the gravel as he marched down the drive and made his way home.
For all that Miss Leigh was a tempestuous lady, they rarely quarreled. There were disagreements aplenty, to be sure, but how did a man make amends when the lady refused to see him? Again. David hadn’t another pianoforte to lure her out. He supposed he merely had to be patient and wait for her to pay call at Stratsfield House, but that decision sat uneasy in his stomach, demanding he settle on another solution.
What ought he to do?
That question haunted his steps as he moved about the streets of Greater Edgerton, his feet drawing him home as he stared at the pavers and his thoughts drifted far and wide.
Many believed England incapable of sunshine, but nothing could be further from the truth. If anything, one was bound to experience the entire gamut of weather possibilities in a single day. The morning may be blustery, only to clear into blue skies by afternoon, and end with drizzle in the evening. And today was no exception. Though the winter chill had settled quickly into Lancashire, another mercurial shift found the cold fleeing once more as the sun climbed the horizon, warming everything it touched with its golden rays.
It truly was a magnificent day despite the bare trees and muddy streetscape. If David bothered to notice. He trudged along the roads of Greater Edgerton, but despite the press of the crowd surrounding him, his thoughts refused to drift from Miss Leigh. Stifling a yawn, he forced his feet forward.
That kiss.
For all that he knew Miss Leigh as well as anyone could claim to know her, David had never expected such a stirring embrace. Not from his dear friend.
Their embrace was as different from his Mystery Lady’s as night and day. The kiss at the masquerade had been all fire and passion—the sort of heady delirium that poets wrote about as the pinnacle of love and adoration. But Miss Leigh’s had been something altogether different from anything David had experienced. Despite spending the rest of the evening and morning trying to quantify it, he couldn’t put it into words.
