But soon, she settled into music, drawing deeper into her repertoire.
Beethoven’s style required too delicate a touch for Katherine to master it for public consumption, but that did not mean she did not indulge in it whilst in private. The slow melody poured out of her fingers, moving up and down the keys as the notes swept her away. The faster movements of the sonata were better suited for her talents, but the lilting quality of the piece gentled her teeming heart, allowing her to breathe for the first time since her parents’ edict had ripped her piano away.
Closing her eyes, she allowed her fingers to move of their own accord, focusing entirely on the emotion of the piece—poor though her delivery may be. There was such inherent sadness to the music that it was little wonder the piece was titled “Pathétique,” for her pathetic soul felt that melancholy in every note. Yet as she drew to the end of the movement, there was a moment of brightness: trilling little notes that gave the piece new life. Even in the darkness it painted, there was a small light of hope.
The final chord was meant to be held for only one count and a half, but Katherine kept her fingers in place, ignoring the rests that would cut it short and allowing the sound to linger for several heartbeats. When she lifted her hands from the keys, applause broke the silence, and before she turned, she knew what she would find.
Mr. Archer stood in the doorway, his hands outstretched as he clapped, a far too satisfied smile resting on his lips. But Katherine couldn’t help but notice that despite his casual pose, his chest was heaving as though he’d run a great distance.
She refused to smile at that.
“Brava, Miss Leigh,” he said, doing a passable job at hiding the winded quality of his words.
“Did you run all the way from the mill?” she asked, turning her gaze back to the keyboard.
“As I knew you would only come if you thought I wouldn’t be there, I asked that the servants send word the moment you arrived,” he said, looking entirely unrepentant. “Good thing, too, for I was ready to storm your bedchamber and drag you out if you turned me away one more time.”
For all that the sentiment made her heart leap in her chest, Katherine couldn’t smile as he intended. She closed her eyes and drew in a deep breath. She had known this moment was coming. One couldn’t visit a gentleman’s home and not expect to see him at some point.
“My invitation was in earnest,” he quickly added as his voice drew closer. “As Mother and my sisters are often around, there is nothing untoward about you visiting, and you may use the piano whenever you wish.”
Mr. Archer drew into her peripheral vision, though Katherine forced her eyes to remain on the keys.
“Though I hope you will speak to me on occasion,” he added with a slight chuckle that felt as forced as this “chance” encounter.
And this was the precise reason she had avoided him for so long. Mr. Archer was too kind for her good. Or for her heart’s good, at any rate. How did a lady answer such a petition? And with such an offering laid before her?
“I know you’ve been avoiding me, though I do not know what I have done to offend you,” he said, resting a hand on the edge of the instrument. Katherine couldn’t bring herself to look at him directly, but her gaze couldn’t move from those fingers.
“I’ve spent countless hours considering what may have happened, and I haven’t the foggiest notion. I am sure there is a good reason behind it—please tell me what it is, so I can remedy it,” he said with another forced bit of lightness. There was a long pause before he murmured, “I have missed you greatly.”
Drawing in a sharp breath, Katherine forced her gaze to the window. If he had said anything else, it would’ve been easy to maintain her distance. But hearing Mr. Archer assume all the responsibility made her chest tighten.
What had he done wrong, precisely? What sins had he committed that were worthy of her cutting him from her life? He did not want her as a sweetheart, and that was no capital offense. It deserved no censure. He was quite free to throw his heart into loving as he wished, and it was unfair of Katherine to punish him simply because her silly heart desired more.
“I apologize, Mr. Archer,” she whispered, shaking her head before turning to face him, though she couldn’t raise her gaze to meet his. “I have been out of sorts lately, and I bear the blame for it—not you.”
And never were truer words spoken. Katherine’s heartbreak was of her own making. What did Mr. Archer have to apologize for? Though his reaction had stung, it hadn’t been maliciously meant. For goodness’ sake! Her eavesdropping had caused the fracture. Mr. Archer had never intended to tell her directly that he found her unappealing.
With each passing day, her anger ebbed, and reality settled back into place—right where it ought to have been. Katherine couldn’t lay an ounce of fault on his shoulders. Mr. Archer had treated her with respect and decency, and that did not make him obligated to fall madly in love with her.
No, her ridiculous dreams and hopes had been of her own making. Mr. Archer had never asked for more than friendship, and yes, he was a blind fool for not recognizing her as the Mystery Lady, but what did that signify? She was the fool who refused to speak up and tell him the truth, so their sins balanced each other out.
Friends. That was all.
And that was no small thing. So few people wished to fill that role in her life, and each was all the more precious for it. Was she truly willing to cast him aside simply because of her bruised pride? Especially after she’d treated him so shabbily of late, and his response was to offer a new piano to replace the one her parents had stolen from her.
“What has you so out of sorts?” asked Mr. Archer.
For all that Katherine had known he would ask that, she had no ready answer. Reaching for the keys, she struck up a new song, and though she ought to have chosen a livelier tune, it was a somber piece that matched her mood far too well.
Chapter 26
Head bent low, Miss Leigh closed her eyes and sank into the music. For all that she claimed she did not play well, it was entrancing to watch her. Perhaps he ought to drag Benjamin over to hear one of these private sessions; anyone seeing her thusly couldn’t walk away thinking she was aloof or unfeeling.
But then, perhaps that was the trouble. Miss Leigh was not a demonstrative lady. Life had taught her to guard her heart well, and one could not play such music without giving others a window into those hidden parts of one’s soul. David’s heart thumped in time with the rhythm, slow and languid as he considered just how lucky he was that she allowed him to see her in such a vulnerable state.
A gentle smile stretched his lips as her expression softened, her brows drawing together as though searching for something within the notes. It was lovely and heartbreaking all at once to see her find such contentment in a thing when life offered her so few joys. The longing and sadness blended together into a bittersweet melody. Her features softened, shining with the sentiment she so often kept locked away.
